Keeping love alive over long distances
Two summers ago, Jesse Fowers was in a self-proclaimed semi-serious relationship while he was living in San Diego. When school started in the fall, he spent six weeks at USU before traveling to Europe for four weeks with a Huntsman Business School program. His girlfriend stayed in San Diego while he traveled from San Diego to Logan and then on to Europe.
Fowers said he decided to end the long-distance relationship when he got back from his trip. Fowers said the relationship wasn’t going anywhere and he didn’t want to string her along.
“I tried to make her the one,” said Fowers, a senior majoring in international studies and economics. “I tried to make her the special girl, but she really wasn’t, and I wasn’t special for her, either. It was kind of a relationship of convenience.”
The next summer, Fowers had a two-day layover in New York City. There, he met his future wife, who was traveling from Fresno, Calif., to visit her friend in New York City. Fowers said the two spent the rest of the day together, but decided to keep the relationship platonic.
Before Fowers left to board his plane the next day, he and his new love took a ferry to Ellis Island to spend more time together.
From that time forward they kept in touch, and by Thanksgiving she moved to Logan, where they were married after knowing each other for four months, he said.
“I think if it wasn’t long distance, the result would have been the same,” he said. “If both of you are committed and it truly is a good relationship, it’ll be a good relationship whether you’re next door neighbors or whether you live on the other side of the globe.”
Brianna Rowland, a senior majoring in public relations, said she met her husband at age 16 in Calgary, in Alberta, Canada. Rowland, who is from Canada, got to know her husband, who is from Provo, when he came to Calgary to visit his cousins, which happened to be friends of Rowland’s.
After a week he returned to Utah, and they kept in touch over the phone and through MSN messenger. Eventually, she came to Utah to attend his prom, she said. She also came to USU to play tennis while he was on an LDS mission in Taiwan. Upon his return, they became exclusive for six months before she left for her mission.
She said after her mission, she returned to Logan. He was in Alaska and turned down a job offer in London to move to Logan.
“I got anxious about it,” Rowland said. “I don’t know how nervous he was, but it was definitely either we’re going to make or break it. We couldn’t keep on doing long distance forever.”
Mollie Bateman, who studied art at USU last semester, said she decided to move to Weber State University to be closer to her family before moving to Sweden in May to marry her Swedish fiance. She said she visited Sweden over the summer and met her fiance at a church activity.
Bateman said she had to rearrange her schedule to keep in touch with him because of the eight-hour time difference between Sweden and the U.S., but they also wrote each other love letters. She said although her family was supportive of her relationship, they were worried about the cultural differences.
“I also love his cologne,” she said. “So he sent me a Sweden T-shirt with the flag on it and drenched in his cologne.”
Kiley Kincaid, a junior majoring in special education, said she’s dating a gentleman from Texas. Before coming to USU, both Kincaid and her boyfriend attended a community college in Illinois. However, he told her he was moving back to Texas the week before he left.
She said initially they decided not to talk to each other, thinking they would never see each other again. Kincaid said her boyfriend eventually came back to Illinois, so they spent some time together and decided to make it work.
Since then, both travel back and forth to visit each other, and she said her boyfriend will move to wherever she is once he graduates next year.
Kincaid said the hardest part of being in a long-distance relationship is being able to trust the other.
“You have to break trust to build it back up,” Kincaid said . “We’ve both done some stuff that the other one didn’t like and that makes us question our trust. If the other person wants to give them a second chance, you just keep building on it, and they just keep proving to you that you can trust them.”
Kellen Hansen, a junior majoring in global communications, said he met a young woman from California through a mutual friend. They talked on the phone for three months before he flew to California to spend time with her, but she was unhappy when Hansen had to return to Utah, he said.
Hansen said she has a deeply rooted relationship with her former boyfriend, so she got back together with him and broke up with Hansen.
“I knew (the long distance relationship) wasn’t ideal before,” he said. “It’s a lot of work just to be in a relationship in general, but to be that far apart, it would take a couple of pretty special people for them to be faithful and actually make it work to the point that they can move to the same city and actually carry out a regular relationship.”
-nadiah.johari@aggiemail.usu.edu