LETTER: A sarcastic take on smoking

To the editor:

I too am concerned about the dangers that second hand smoke poses on this campus.

The current groups attempting to protect us from those dangers are not doing enough. One person in Wednesday’s article was brave enough to point out that there is no enforcement of the current laws and that something should be done about it. This makes the University liable for much of the second hand smoke damaging our lungs on a daily basis. Increasing student fees to pay for smoking police to patrol campus is a good start. Having the smokers stand in a fixed area to smoke would be the next logical step. After that, we should work on a total ban on smoking. With this measure, we should look at eliminating all vehicles that produce dangerous chemicals from our campus, replacing them with electric vehicles.

Also, students who bother other students with rank body odor or excessive flatulence should have steps taken against them for their annoying habits as well. In order to increase smoking’s social stigma on campus, students caught breaking the ban should have to wear a red “S” somewhere visible on their person, so that others know exactly who is actively endangering their lives. A Web page, or weekly section of The Statesman should publish the names and photos of the ban-breakers. We should be careful not to go too far against these victims of smoking, and direct law suits towards the real cause of our problem: Big Tobacco itself.

With the generous money from lawsuits and fines from smokers we should be able to eliminate the increase on student fees in a few short years. Instead of education on this campus we need enforcement. That is the only way to protect the students from smoking’s vile dangers.

Paul Creech