LETTER: How premature?

Editor,

Mlle. Lieutenant: We have Three Kings, Sir. Continue.

Col. D’Geese: Is that Ice? Cube?

Mlle. Lt: Yes, Sir.

The Colonel: I do not want American teachers teaching “Fun with urine” in American schools. Have I made myself perfectly clear?

Mlle. Lt: I believe you have made two notations upon appropriate time and place for macaroni art. Sir.

The Colonel: I do not want “Fun with urine” taught before Albrecht Durer and his techniques are exposed…

Mlle Lt: To developing taste for proportion, Sir.

The Colonel: Quite correct. I do not want “Fun with urine” taught to Bannocks before they know who Epictitus is.

Mlle Lt: I understand your concern for the special melancholia “Fun with urine” technician specialists may experience, Sir.

The Colonel: I wish to be completely divorced from the scrutiny of the world’s psychiatrists when they begin to examine the policy that would include a “Fun with urine” “art project” on a payload carrying an authentic piece of art by a child from a concentration camp.

Mlle. Lt: Completely understood, Sir.

The Colonel: I do not want American teachers teaching American schools “screaming methane jug” experiments when American schools are cavalier to even the litmus business.

Mlle. Lt: May I record your alternative order, Sir?

The colonel: Snap test on Priogene, this week.

Mlle. Lt: Are the co-ed microbiology majors still leaning about E. coli during your interviews at the Habitats for Humanity projects, Sir?

The Colonel: Yes, Mam. I’m out to pasture.

Sean Lendrihas