Letter to the Editor: Modest proposal for removal of ‘porn’

Dear Editor:

I wholeheartedly support the letter writers calling for “pornography” to be removed from the pages of the Utah Statesman. This problem is not confined to the advertisements; Friday’s sports pages, for example, depict gymnasts and basketball players whose hair and skin are clearly visible. (Why aren’t these girls at home raising children and picking up after their men, anyway?)

In fact, the letter writers do not go far enough; my modest proposal is that all women not wearing the full burka be paraded from campus into town, where they will be stoned to death in front of the Temple (unless any of them are pregnant, as I am of course “pro-life”). This is what my “morality” tells me should happen to “sluts” and “sinners”. I have little doubt that Utah’s own Taliban will endorse my proposal, which will surely lead to a sin-free theocratic utopia like those currently enjoyed in Iran and Saudi Arabia.

Shane Graham