LETTER: Walk a mile falls short
To the editor:
Yesterday, USU was host to an event called “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes.” For those not present, this event consisted of groups of men walking the distance of one mile while wearing women’s shoes. While I’m sure that a number of people were disgusted by this, as I was, I’m sure my reasons were far different.
The event was an act of emasculation, and I’m not even referring to the cross-dressing aspect. What was truly emasculating about the event was the attitude that it forced the participants to adopt. The intent of the event was to raise awareness of sexual violence against women, via encouraging men to “get a taste of what women endure.”
First off, women are not the only victims of sexual violence in the country. Some could argue that men do not suffer as much from this as women, but this is false. According to the FBI, every year approximately 94,000 women are raped in the United States, while a human rights watch group reports that every year, approximately 140,000 men are raped in American prisons. A common response to this is that men can avoid this merely by staying out of prisons; this is easier said than done, as men almost always receive far sharsher sentences than women who commit the same crimes.
Another problem with the man-as-perpetrator-women-as-victim paradigm is the fact that it completely ignores sexual violence committed by women. While many advocates are aware that women constitute half the perpetrators of domestic violence, their lack of focus on men’s suffering betrays our culture’s attitude towards such things. When Chris Brown was with Rihanna, he assaulted her, and was trashed endlessly by the media (who conveniently ignored the many times she publicly assaulted him). On the other hand, when Lorena Bobbit cut off her husband’s penis with a kitchen knife, it was treated as a very humorous event. Would the world be laughing if John Wayne Bobbit had cut of his wife’s breasts?
Perhaps the worst part of this event is the fact that it completely ignores the flip-side of sexual violence against women: false accusations. Despite what feminists say, rape has a significantly higher rate of false accusations than any other felony. A false accusation of rape can damage a man’s life just as much as being raped can damage a woman’s life. In fact, the damage is worse: rape-shield laws prohibit the defense from using the accuser’s sexual history in court (even though, more often than not, it’s relevant to the case), and prohibit the court from revealing the accuser’s identity to the public. The accused (usually a man) receives no such protections, and even if he’s acquitted, his reputation will be forever tarnished by the event.
Perhaps worst of all, the fact that false accusations are seldom punished does severe damage to the credibility of genuine victims.
It’s especially offensive that a march like this was held when, at this very time, a man in Maine named Vladek Filler is being put on trial for rape, and being tried by Assistant District Attorney Mary Kellett, a prosecutor with a long history of unethical conduct. Filler was accused by his wife, who has a history of violent behavior and false accusations, in the middle of custody proceedings. TJ ward, a professional investigator, said that there is absolutely no reason to believe that Filler is guilty, and that Kellett deliberately omitted evidence that proves his innocence.
There is no recourse at the present time for men who fall victim to false accusations. In light of this, I have a question for all the men who participated in this march: Do you really understand the implications of what you did? The next Vladek Filler (or Duke Lacrosse player) could be somebody you care about. It could be your father, your brother, your cousin or your son. Or, god forbid, it could be you. When and if that happens, look back on your participation in this event, and ask yourself: was it really worth it to curry a bit of female favor by bashing your own sex?
Phil Henderson