Mother: Cooper’s suicide not in vain
It was a friend who raped Kristin Cooper on Aug. 4, 1995. Five months later, it was her mother who found her dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
Her mother, Andrea Cooper, presented the Kristen’s Story Tuesday evening in the Taggart Student Center to raise awareness of acquaintance rape among USU students.
“The number one issue for our office is awareness,” Sexual Abuse and Anti-Violence Information intern Ian Hanock said. “The national average is one in five college women are sexually assaulted. Most people don’t think it, but that holds pretty true to our campus as well.”
The event was organized by Mandy LaPatriello, Alpha Chi Omega president, and M.E. Culbertson, vice president of philanthropy as part of the sorority’s Lyre Fest activities.
“Only three colleges got the grant out of 12 applicants, and this is her last tour,” Culbertson said.
Cooper’s presentation began with her describing her daughter’s life as a college student.
“She wanted to be noticed,” Cooper said. “She wanted to be more than a number. She had a wonderful time at Baker (University). She chose Alpha Chi Omega, and it was wonderful for Kristin.”
However, Cooper noticed her daughter exhibiting signs of depression when she returned home for Thanksgiving break, three months after the rape.
“She cried the whole time,” Cooper said. “She stayed in her room. She didn’t want to see her high school friends. She would retreat to her room and her journal and would be crying. I thought, ‘OK, she is severely depressed, and when she comes home for Christmas, I’m going to have her see a counselor.'”
According to Cooper, by the time her daughter came home for winter break, she appeared to have recuperated from her depression.
“Do any of you know why she was so happy?” Cooper asked the audience. “She had already made the decision. After she died, I found a three-page suicide note in her journal that she had written in October.”
It was after a New Year’s Eve party in 1995 when Cooper found her daughter’s body.
“We got to the middle of the house and I could see Kristin in the family room, and she was lying on her back like she was sound asleep,” Cooper said. “The music was just blasting from the speaker in our living room. I said to Kristin, ‘That music is awfully loud isn’t it?’ I thought she had too much to drink and had passed out.
“The closer I got, it looked like she wasn’t breathing. I started to have a panic attack. I thought, ‘Oh my god, she must have died from alcohol poisoning,’ so I walked over to her, and when I leaned over her there was no pulse, she wasn’t breathing and I saw a gun in her hand.”
It wasn’t until Cooper read her daughter’s diary that she discovered Kristin had been raped by a friend.
“When I got further into the journal, she had this poem describing what it felt like to be raped,” Cooper said.
After questioning her daughter’s roommates, Cooper was able to guess the identity of the man who raped her daughter.
“I wrote him a rather sarcastic letter,” Cooper said. “I said ‘Dear so-and-so, I know you were a friend of Kristin’s. I’m sure you have heard by now she committed suicide and the reason she did it was because she was raped by someone she thought she could trust and she could not live with the pain and the hurt.'”
At the end of Cooper’s presentation, she gave advice to USU students about how to help those who had been aquaintance-raped.
“When you are raped, you have already lost control,” Cooper said. “If you are trying to take control away from her, that is not good. Encourage action.”
According to Cooper, the 15 years spent touring the country raising awareness of acquaintance rape among college students was worth it.
“It is such a huge reward, and I feel like Kristin has not died in vain,” Cooper said. “Even though her death was a tragedy, I feel like it was not in vain because people are being helped.”