MOVIE REVIEW: ‘Along Came Polly’-there went my seven bucks
If I have to see one more bare butt in a movie again, I’m going to need intense psychotherapy. It was bad enough I had to be victimized by Danny DeVito last week, but this time around I get mooned by both Ben Stiller and Hank Azaria. This is already after having to see Nicholas Cage run across a rooftop in a hospital gown in “Matchstick Men.” Word on the street is that Jack Nicholson gives a posterior cameo in “Something’s Gotta Give.” Somebody needs to at least hire a stunt butt for these guys. (Could you imagine putting that on your resume?)
To be fair, if you set aside the vicious moonings, “Along Came Polly” still stinks. It’s more of a tragedy because from time to time, it’s very funny. It shows potential. It looks out at the audience and says, “Hey, look folks, I’m getting pretty funny, eh?” Then it tosses out fart gags. So much of the “humor” in the movie is based on gross-out jokes that you’d think it was written by a bunch of seventh-graders before gym class.
For those of you who haven’t seen the previews, and therefore don’t know pretty much the whole plot, “Along Came Polly” is about a risk assessor (Ben Stiller, “Meet the Parents”) who breaks up with his wife (Debra Messing, “Will and Grace” gal) on their honeymoon (customarily follows a wedding) when she cheats on him with a nudist scuba diver (Hank Azaria, voice of Moe on “The Simpsons”). The risk assessor then meets up with an old friend from junior high (named Polly), played by Jennifer Aniston (wife of Brad Pitt), who is his complete opposite. If you can’t figure out what happens from here, I’m not the one that needs the psychotherapy.
The film is saved from complete turkeydom by a couple of amusing subplots, one involving Stiller’s best friend, a former child actor (Phillip Seymour Hoffman, snooty roommate guy in “Patch Adams”), and a zany death-defying Australian playboy that Stiller’s company is trying to insure. But even these bits have weaknesses. Hoffman’s character is pretty funny, but at times he, like the movie in general, tries too hard. One running gag details his lousy basketball skills and his refusal to acknowledge them. But by the 10th time he throws the ball off the top of the backboard, the laugh tank is empty.
Truth is, this could have been tossed out as just another weak forgettable comedy. But I’m a big Ben Stiller fan. Hoffman’s been responsible for some of my favorite movie quotes of all time. Azaria has done voice work on “The Simpsons” for 15 years. I expected more from these guys. That’s the real tragedy.
Josh Terry is a graduate student in the American studies program. Comments may be sent to jterry@english.usu.edu.