MOVIEW REVIEW: ‘Cold Mountain’ more perfect than ‘Perfect Score’

Grade: C

I don’t know how many movies are made every year, but I do know that the majority of them spend in a few weeks in the theater, linger a while, then eventually settle onto the shelves at Blockbuster for the rest of eternity. These are the movies you notice five years later as you’re looking through 10,000 videos in search of anything worthy of spending your Saturday night with. You look at the cover curiously, swear the thing looks familiar, then move on to the next row.

MTV’s “The Perfect Score” feels destined for this category. It’s neither a great film nor a rotten one. The acting is far from Oscar-worthy, but no one will be pegging it for any Rasberry Awards either. At best, this will be the kind of movie that gains notoriety for being one of “so-and-so’s” first movies.

Just exactly who “so-and-so” is I don’t know, as none of the movie’s actors made much of an impression. Don’t get me wrong; they weren’t lousy actors. I put the fault with the script. The MTV folks put together an ensemble cast of the most cliched and generic characters they could come up with and wound up with a sorry attempt to update “The Breakfast Club.”

But while the social cross-section of “The Breakfast Club” spent their screen time in detention, the MTV group spends it trying to qualify for prison. “The Perfect Score” follows the exploits of six teens as they try to steal the answers for their upcoming SAT test. From qualifying for the Ivy League to making it to NCAA basketball eligibility, each character has his own reason for deciding that the best way to beat the test is to engage in criminal activity.

The film tries to cover all of the bases, type-wise, giving us the unforgettable “Jock Guy,” “Preppie Guy,” “Best Friend Guy,” “Oppressed Smart Chick,” “Rebel Intellectual Chick,” and “Stoner Guy.” For good measure, they also throw in “Loser-older-brother-living-with-parents Guy,” too.

Most of these characters are likeable, though you can never quite figure out why they’re stupid enough to get involved in their chosen heist. But unfortunately likable doesn’t translate into funny, and pretty much every crack at humor falls flat.

The one moment that did get my attention was “Rebel Intellectual Chick” telling “Best Friend Guy” that she wants to be a regular, dignified mom. Why the folks at MTV put that in there is beyond me.

Taking everything into consideration, the bottom line is that if you’re looking for an inconspicuous movie, there are better ones out there (tons at the video store). If it were me, I’d just go rent “Rubin and Ed” again.

Josh Terry is a graduate student in the American studies program. Comments may be sent to him at jterry@english.usu.edu.