Netflix and chill: You ruined it

What have you done?

I’m asking any of you, my college-aged peers, who have in any way tarnished the single easiest and most enjoyable daily activity available to anyone who can spare ten bucks a month.

Why did you have to ruin Netflix and chill?

I know this is hard for many of you to grasp, but for some of us this is the highlight of our day. We slog through a morning of classes and an afternoon of work continually bearing in mind the fact that eight seasons of “Scrubs” and a pair of comfy pants are waiting for us at home.

And it’s not a purely anti-social thing — there’s nothing so satisfying as introducing the cute girl in your Stats class to a new show and starting a nightly tradition of blowing off your homework together for entire seasons of “Parks and Recreation.”

But it can also function as an anti-social thing, because sometimes other people suck and you just want to be alone with every episode of “Burn Notice” in existence.

That’s the beauty and versatility of Netflix. It’s so dynamic, so low-key yet satisfying. Netflix night was such a safe “not a date, but also maybe kind of a date” option, better than a theater in so many ways. It’s cheaper, and you get to talk through all the good parts and then rewind like three different times.

Nobody goes to the movies to chill. Instead you both just sit there awkwardly trying to figure out if silently pulling the armrest down would send the wrong message to your date. Plus the snacks are too expensive.

Netflix is so widespread you just assume everyone has it at this point. It figures into a college kid’s monthly budget like a phone bill — which is to say, someone else probably pays for it. Even if you’re the unlucky roommate footing the bill all on your own, you never even stop to consider maybe that ten extra dollars a month could go elsewhere. Having access to all of “How I Met Your Mother” — which has probably been on your watch list for a year but you still haven’t finished it because you correctly heard the ending was terrible — is that important to you. You’ll eat leftovers with ketchup a few extra nights before you give up Netflix.

That’s what it was. That’s what it used to be. In its purest form, Netflix and chill represented the sublime blend of procrastination, flirtation and relaxation that both introverted and extraverted individuals could enjoy.

And now it’s ruined.

I’m not sure whether to blame Yik Yak, Tinder or some other app that needs to be deleted from existence. But somehow in the past year, Netflix and chill became a euphemism. Not even a funny one, just an unoriginal way to conceal the fact that you’re asking someone to come to your apartment to give you sex.

What a waste.

So many awesome things have already been claimed by slang and overuse. Stargazing, for example, is a serene experience. It usually makes for an awesome date even if that’s literally all you do. You think about life and love and how going outside can actually be less than terrible sometimes. But if you ask someone to go with you to stargaze, there is a 100 percent chance they will mentally apply air quotes to the phrase, think about whether or not they feel like sucking face that night, and then answer appropriately with, “No thanks, I have homework.”

It’s kind of become this generation’s “coming over to study,” where if that’s actually what happens it’s almost disappointing. Netflix and chill will now forever have the same reputation as the sock on the doorknob, and that’s sad. Such a reliable pastime deserves better.

— Logan Jones is a junior majoring in journalism. Contact him at logantjones@aggiemail.usu.edu or on Twitter @Logantj