Opinion: Managing our emotions
Last December, I was listening to an audiobook that helped me learn to control my feelings. The book, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” (1987) by Susan Jeffers, takes the passive mind of the reader and creates assertiveness and confidence. Jeffers gives us the message that we can handle anything in life even if we are afraid of what is to come.
Today, people are facing unprecedented problems: losing jobs, incomes, even apartments, and it’s scary. People feel oppressed wearing masks and are protesting in the streets — and not just about the quarantine.
The Black Lives Matter protests for the deaths of George Flloyd, Breonna Taylor and many, many like them have made people angry. Combined with the stress of quarantine and the presidential election, tensions are high. That is completely human, but things can get better.
In her audiobook, Jeffers says there are statements we can tell ourselves in order to conquer our inner fear: “I am powerful and I am loving. I am powerful and I am loved. I am powerful and I love it.”
People are always teaching us techniques and phrases to use in order to feel better about ourselves, like how smiling more is proven to boost our mood. Making positive body statements in the mirror can help with your self-esteem. Saying you are powerful and you are loving it–it all works. It may seem tedious, and it doesn’t work for everyone, but it’s always worth the try to feel better about yourself, alleviating the main source of stress in your life: you.
Jeffers talks about how we tend to blame ourselves for our suffering and bad mistakes, but by that logic, we are also responsible for our accomplishments and feeling good about ourselves. She writes about taking responsibility for how you feel even in the most helpless of circumstances.
“Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having, or feeling. I can just hear some of you saying, ‘Never? But this time it really is his fault, or her fault, or the boss’ fault, or my son’s fault, or the economy’s fault, or my mother’s fault, or my father’s fault, or my friend’s fault — really it is.’ Now until you fully understand you, and no one else, creates what goes on in your head, you will never be in control of your life. Taking responsibility means not blaming any outside source for your experience of life.”
You might be thinking that there are some things out of your control. But we have the ability to choose how to react. Many people go through the same experiences, the same traumas, and become different people in the end. This is because they choose who to be. You can be bitter. Or you can be grateful. You can even choose to block it out.
When quarantine is over, how will you let it affect your life? How has it affected your life already? After all, government guidelines, laws, political stress, climate change, a failing economy, and the lack of decent content on your streaming services can only make you feel bad if you let it. I know it sounds daunting, but you are in control. No one else.
You can’t control if the world ends, or if someone passes away, or anything anyone else wants to do. We can’t control what other people feel and how they react to others, but we can control ourselves. We are the masters of our own minds.
Whether you take the quarantine seriously or not, it’s important to remember that the world is in a crisis, but we will get through this. “A positive thinker knows that pain is part of life, and in the end there is much to be learned from any pain we experience.”
If you or someone you know is having a hard time, please take the time to talk to someone. If you can’t talk to anyone close to you, consider these hotlines:
National Suicide Prevention: 800-273-8255
National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233
National US Child Abuse Hotline: (800) 422-4453
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN): (800) 656-HOPE
Planned Parenthood Hotline: (800) 230-PLAN (230-7526)
Girls & Boys Town National Hotline: (800) 448-3000
Alcohol & Drug Abuse Hotline: (800) 729-6686
Megan Cowdell is a freshman opinion columnist studying for a bachelor’s in Communications. She loves music, reading and wants to write books for a living.
megan.cowdell@usu.edu