Opinion: Master your fate by mastering your decisions and your words

Taking ownership of our lives is the best thing we can do for ourselves. We all constantly make decisions in our lives, but often we are tempted to avoid ownership. While there are certainly things outside of our control, rarely is one forced to do a particular thing. In this piece, we’d like to highlight the benefits of taking ownership of one’s life, the common pitfalls of avoiding ownership, and a couple of adjustments that will help you to take ownership. 

People generally seem healthier when they feel that they have control over their lives. In Psychology Today, Dr. Romeo Vitelli said, “The confidence we have in our ability to control our own lives plays an important role in maintaining a healthy lifestyle and avoiding high-risk activities that can cause medical problems later in life.” 

Ownership of our life and self-determination are not only shown to increase health benefits, they are enshrined in our culture, including in iconic literature. For example, the often-cited poem “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley ends with “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” 

We would be wrong if we didn’t acknowledge there are things in life that are outside of our control. These include where we are born, our genetics, our looks and the choices of others. Outside of these factors, we have the ability to choose to do whatever we want with our given lot. The factors that have been “chosen” for us need not control our lives. If we don’t take active control, however, we will feel that we are being controlled, like “life is living us.” 

Despite this, many people like to deflect responsibility for their decisions rather than owning them. Some claim there are things they are required to do yet fail to realize everything is a choice.

One way to control your life is by first understanding and taking ownership for how you make decisions. 

Many interactions and decisions you make are calculated to maximize the benefits. In simple economic terms, this is labeled “utility:” a measure of satisfaction or value. When you determine whether or not to make a purchase, you are basically analyzing which creates more utility for you — the money that you exchange or the product that you buy. Whichever you perceive as having greater value will be the one that you ultimately select.

This also illustrates a core principle of economics: tradeoffs are everywhere. When you make a decision you gain something, but you also lose something. Economists describe the foregone option as an “opportunity cost.” For example, if I study for two hours for an upcoming exam, I will be more prepared for that exam, but I will also incur the opportunity cost of using my time in other ways, like watching my favorite movie or going to the gym.

Many interactions and decisions we make are calculated to maximize our own preferences, particularly for single college students. We often forego certain opportunities in exchange for other opportunities. When we chose to come to Utah State, we decided that it was the optimal use of our time and resources according to the information we had at the time. In spite of this, some still interpret their own optimization equation as outside of their control. No one was forced to come to Utah State, and those that think along those lines should reflect on the choices that brought them here. By understanding one’s decision making, one can take ownership of those decisions and, ultimately, one’s life. 

Let us consider the example of having a job. Often, people will tell their friends that they cannot hang out, because they “have to work” later that evening. They may have committed to work, but they do not have to do anything. They are making the rational choice to forego hanging out with their friends for the sake of their employment and the money their job generates.

You can take ownership of your life by taking ownership of your words. 

Next time you say that you “have to” do something, consider changing your language. “I have chosen to take accounting instead of history because it will accelerate my graduation timeline.” Next time you feel the need to say that you “need” something, consider framing it as a desire, because that’s what it is.

Let us choose to be the masters of our own fate. Own your decisions and adjust your mindset and your words, and you will master your life.

Featured graphic created by Brynn Bennion. The opinions stated in this article do not necessarily reflect his or hers.