OUR VIEW: Curing Utah’s socially awkward crowds

It shouldn’t be a surprise that our campus is crawling with returned missionaries – from those who got back just months ago to those who are pulling their hair out because they are still single.

There are many clues when identifying RMs. To female students, the first and most obvious clue is the awkwardness of friendly encounters – they often greet and say goodbye with a high-five or shoulder slap. These men have been deprived of the ladies for two years and are mixed with fear and excitement about their next “transfer” – roping in a wife and starting a family. There seems to be a lot of pressure on a guy who still weaves scriptures into conversations about the weather.

These wide-eyed men have gone from following strict, regimented schedules, spending the majority of their days talking about religion, prayer and prophets to attempting to talk about pop culture and current events. It’s no wonder the transition is rocky.

Rejoining society is a challenge. Now that they’re back from service, they can watch movies and TV shows, they are encouraged to find dates, and there are no enforcements on their daily routines. Many have forgotten what it’s like to plan their own schedules and sometimes go back to the schedule they knew as a missionary because it’s all they know.

We don’t blame these guys for their awkward social aptitude. But as much as their behavior makes sense, they need to be welcomed back to reality. Bursting RMs’ bubbles can be a challenge. For roommates, who want to be friends and not companions, they might try to set up their 21-year-old roommate with a woman in his Institute class. Unfortunately, this might lead to long, uncomfortable dates filled with mission reminiscing and spiritual references – not to mention the guy remains at least five feet away from his date at all times.

It would be nice to have some type of reassuring advice for these well-meaning RMs, but generally, the best medicine is time. To those of you struggling through the awkward post-mission phase, you are certainly not alone. We interact with people like this every day. Try to step outside of your comfort zone – this doesn’t mean throw your standards out the window. Find an RM who was able to find his way back to reality and seek advice from him.

There are just as many awkward RMs at USU as there are women who want to find one to smooch on, so hope is not lost for you, boys. However, if you actually want to meet one of these women, you may need to introduce yourself, instead of avoiding eye contact. And unless you are asked, try not to give each of your dates a play by play of the past two years of your life.