Parents, stop lying to your kids
True professional contentment stems not from loving your work but from having the ability to provide for yourself and your family. So claimed one of my professors during a rousing speech on the last day of his class
Just days earlier, a different professor gave a similar lecture, but his advice was the opposite, saying that matching your major to the jobs which are currently available is a mistake. He instead advised students to study the subjects for which they have a passion.
Professors and career guidance counselors give conflicting opinions to college students regarding career choice. As a college student myself, my plea is simple: Parents, for the good of your posterity, please keep your messages consistent.
What you tell your children may not only shape the rest of their lives but could also dictate the well-being and happiness of their future families.
I understand that it is unrealistic to expect educators — professors in particular — to all hold the same beliefs on career paths; each has obviously found success in his or her respective field and is reasonably biased towards one ideology or the other based on his or her profession.
Parents, however, don’t receive the same pass. Decide what advice is best and deliver it consistently.
Why vacillate on such an important truth?
I get it. No one wants to tell their precocious, talented children that they cannot be whatever they want in the future, but if parents believe that to be the truth, shouldn’t that be the message from the beginning?
Is it any wonder that kids are entering college unsure of what to study? “According to surveys, an estimated 20 to 50 percent of students enter college as undecided, and an estimated 75 percent of students change their major at least once before graduation.” This uncertainty contributes to longer time spent in college and with the associated increase in costs to get a degree.
Along the same lines, for years, the debate on whether to profess the existence of Santa Claus to children has raged within the parental community.
It’s an innocuous lie and brings children joy for a time, but such deception usually ends in heartbreak. At its core, the issue is whether lying to your kids is ever justifiable.
If you’re a parent who believes only certain professions are employable, why not instead eliminate the much more insidious lie than Santa Claus, one that’s told just as often to the same children: “You can be whatever you want.” After all, it is far more expensive and time-consuming.
Whether parents are more concerned about their children’s prospects in the job market or believe they can only be truly successful while doing what they love, parents must take a consistent stance. If you are frustrated with the shifting major of your children, look in the mirror to see if the cause might be your shifting advice to them.
Either methodology is not necessarily right or wrong, but, parents, please choose one and then stick to it. To do anything else is unfair to your children. And your pocketbook.