Planning ahead for a potential Trump presidency

If you haven’t been able to figure out what a Trumpocalyps is yet, I would guess that you are probably already making plans to vote for the famous Donald Trump in this upcoming presidential election. For those of you with the mental capacity to understand what the Trumpocalyps is, you have probably already made your plans. And finally, for those of you who still have no idea what I am talking and aren’t voting for Trump, allow me to explain.

The Trumpocalyps is an ever-looming doom for the American people in which our allies will turn against us, our government will crumble from within and the United States’ IQ rating on the global scale will be dropped to dead-last overnight. The cause of this self-predicted devastation to our great country is due to the election of the man known as Donald Trump into presidential office.

Now I know many might think that I am being a bit over-dramatic, and you are probably right, though I don’t think the truth of what will actually happen is that far off from what I just said.

Several countries that are considered allies with the United States have already declared that Donald Trump is not welcome within their borders. Others have stereotyped Americans as not being the brightest, and electing a man who is known to spit out whatever pops into his head probably wouldn’t win us any points. As for the government crumbling within … well let’s just say that the United States is already in debt and building a massive wall along the Mexican-American border wouldn’t help us in any financial way.

There are several other problems that people have predicted will present themselves if Trump is elected, and listing all of them could probably fill up an entire textbook, but that’s not what this column is about. In this piece I would like to address the people who are already strategizing what they will do if Donald Trump is elected into office.

I’ve heard plans that range from moving to another country (both illegally and legally) to an attempt at assassination (which I find a bit extreme). And I can’t honestly blame people for feeling like they need to make these plans. In fact, I am among the U.S. citizens who have formatted a plan for if Trump is elected.

The likelihood of it actually happening, though, isn’t very high. Yes, polls say that he is in the lead right now but stats have been known to be wrong before. In addition, not as much news coverage has been presented for the other candidates, making it so that those who don’t follow politics as closely as others may not even know there are other candidates running. Which limits what they would answer when asked “Who are you planning to vote for?” in a survey.

So to those of you who have made plans for the Trumpocalyps, put down your snipers and return that plane ticket for Kazakhstan. The U.S. will survive another four years and Donald Trump will go back to his life as one of the 1 percent citizens. America will continue to prosper.

— shaniehoward214@gmail.com