Pranking your roommates on April Fools’ Day
Monday is April Fools’ Day, and while many students don’t have family around to prank, that doesn’t leave unsuspecting roommates off the hit list this year. Here are five practically perfect April Fools’ Day pranks that will only mildly annoy your college cohabitant.
Note: The Utah Statesman is not responsible for any backlash, repercussions or strained relationships resulting from perfectly executed April Fools’ Day jokes. We do, however. want to hear all about them.
THAT’S A WRAP
This first prank takes a lot of planning and maybe some teamwork.
First, go to the store and buy all the wrapping paper and/or tin foil that they carry. While your roommate is away (maybe they visit home for the weekend), quickly begin wrapping up all of their belongings.
Wrap their pillows, their text books, their clothes, their toiletries—basically, if it’s not glued down, wrap it up!
When your roommate returns, they will be shocked to find all of their stuff has been packaged against their will. Luckily, no harm no foul. After a good laugh, you can help return things to normal. Or not. That’s your call.
A WATERY MESS
This one is easy. While your roommate is sleeping, go out and buy a child’s swimming pool.
After making sure they aren’t a light sleeper, place the pool beside their bed and fill it with water. When you roommate wakes up, hopefully they will step feet first into the pool. If not, well, there’s a pool of water in their room. What are they going to do about it?
For added fun, set off the smoke alarm in your apartment and wait for them to wake up to the noise.
A BIT BUGGY
Is your roommate afraid of creepy crawlers? Well then, this is the perfect April Fools’ Day prank for you.
Go to any store that sells children’s toys. Find the biggest pack of fake insects you can find. From roly polys to spiders, choose your weapon.
Return home, and while your roommate isn’t looking, place your plastic insects around the house. Add some in the lamp shade, some in the bed, others in the toilet. Basically anywhere your roommate is likely to go.
Wait for their screams to fill your apartment and be ready in case they come for you with the toilet brush.
A CAGEY SITUATION
This isn’t an original idea at all, but if you’re like me, you always forget the classic pranks when you need them the most.
For this prank, print out dozens, hundreds or even thousands of pictures of your favorite celebrity. If you don’t have a favorite celebrity, choose Nicholas Cage. He’s nobody’s first choice.
Again, while your roommate is away (noticing a trend?), litter the apartment with pictures of said celebrity. Replace the photos in frames, hide a Nick Cage in the cereal box or put one in the shower. Basically, pretend you’re running for student elections and your Nicky Cage photos are your flyers. Make. It. Rain.
When all is said and done, your apartment should be 99 percent Nicholas Cage and one percent confused roommate.
A GRAND FINALE
This may be the most evil of all the college roommate pranks, but it’s also the one you can do while your roommate is home.
Go out and buy a container of orange juice over the weekend. As long as your roommate isn’t going to drink the entire container, make sure they know that this juice is shared property.
Let them drink some on Saturday and again on Sunday. However, on Monday, wake up early and dispose of the remaining juice. (Drink it, don’t waste it.)
Fill the container with tap water (only as full as it was, though) and get a package of macaroni and cheese from the cupboard. Grab the cheese powder and mix that orange dust into the OJ container.
Mix it like a five-year-old kid in the summer thirsty for some Kool-Aid.
The resulting concoction is the right color and consistency for orange juice, and when your roommate goes to take a drink they will taste liquid gold.
Disclaimer: I don’t actually know what this watery mac-less cheese will taste like, but “liquid gold” was the best description I could think of.
No matter how you celebrate April Fools’ Day, remember: look before you sit, free snacks are a red flag, and fake proposals, pregnancies or suicides are never funny in any way.
Be safe and have fun, Aggie Nation.
—erickwood97@gmail.com
@GrahamWoodMedia