REVIEW: Gore, action … but little entertainment
Walking out of the theater I was dumbfounded, angry, upset and also a tad entertained. Is it possible to be entertained, even the slightest, by a movie hell-bent on eradicating each and every one of your brain cells?
“Crank 2: High Voltage” is a sick, sadistic, over-the-top, mind-numbing, gory, raunchy slugfest. I have about 40 other adjectives ready at any moment to describe the movie, but there just wouldn’t be enough room.
There’s not much to say really, because as you can surmise from the trailer, and if you’ve seen the first “Crank,” you know that Chev Chelios (Jason Statham, “Transporter”) tries desperately to stay alive the entire movie, working his way through the underground gangs of LA.
In the first film Chelios was injected with a poison that required him to keep his adrenaline up or his heart would stop. After surviving that, the Chinese gangs decided it best to just take Chelios’ heart, because it was strong enough to withstand their poison and give it to their leader. With the insertion of a plastic heart run by a battery, the Chinese gangs then plan to harvest the rest of Chelios’ organs, because he has now achieved some sort of god-like status. The man that can’t die.
As Chelios tries to find out who stole his heart, he comes across all types of unsavory people. “Crank 2,” like its predecessor, is chalk-full of every racial stereotype imaginable. There is not one character that acts contrary to what its stereotype forces them to be. That’s perhaps the saddest part of the film. After a while you’ll, either find yourself laughing along with the supposed jokes, or be offended by the constant stream of racial labels placed on everyone.
So now you know the story. The rest is action, action, action. That’s it. I could delve deeper into how the “Crank” films are, on some level, a comment on the absurdity of action films in general, but truthfully I don’t think it’s that deep. “Shoot’em Up” supplies more of a sarcastic commentary on action films than the “Crank” movies could ever hope to achieve. It’s simply a guy movie that guys can go to and feel macho for a brief time.
With that said, “Crank 2” is slightly entertaining … if you’re in the mood for a brain blasting of epic proportions. Even the editing reflects the jerkiness and hurried state of the film.
The best thing about “Crank 2” is that it is only 85 minutes long. Any longer and the audience would probably have to induce vomiting to get it out of their system.
–aaron.peck@aggiemail.usu.edu