REVIEW: ‘Rollerball’ flashy but pointless

Andy Morgan

Before I start my chain saw, let me state that I cannot fathom what Hollywood creative force thought it pertinent to remake an asinine, redundant, message-happy movie, such as 1974’s Rollerball.

I realize Tinsletown is the land of recycled plots and that money overpowers creativity, but this big-budget rerun is so amazingly fetid that someone had to notice the script steaming before the cameras rolled.

Apparently, the Westates Theaters didn’t notice its squalor, either. Because instead of booking a highly-acclaimed film, such as Monster’s Ball, Amelie, Iris or Gosford Park, the decision makers behind Logan’s celluloid monopoly took out their shovels and scraped this piece of cinematic dog-poo into their low-end, low-visibility theater.

Why does a theater chain pride itself on gathering a non-stop yearly line-up of PG-13 garbage cinema? Two things equally connected: Money and public relations. Perhaps that is harsh soapboxing on my part, but I am routinely steamed when theaters choose to run shoddy, walk-the-ratings-tightrope PG-13 movies, rather than quality films that could possibly be rated R. This obvious happening will never change because folks in this valley have their moral compasses set to PG-13. Anything higher is reprehensible.

Ah, but that tricky MPAA. PG-13 movies are toned down R-rated films. Worse, the PG-13 rating is not restrictive like its R and NC-17 counterparts, meaning a 10-year-old, or someone even younger, can attend a PG-13 movie without a parent’s guidance or approval. That is why Hollywood loves the PG-13 rating. People come in droves to witness content that is R-rated offspring.

In the case of Rollerball, the film contains partial nudity, endless violence, blood, gore, one usage of the f-word and 20-plus uses of the s-word. The movie feels R-rated, and infers the long period of time it sat motionless, being reworked and re-edited, was to reshape the rating from R to PG-13. Whether John McTiernan, the film’s director, was contractually obligated to produce a PG-13 movie, I know not. Nevertheless, what I do know is Rollerball is a waste of time, and people need to rethink their entertainment standards.

Do you let the MPAA decide what the moral benchmark should be? Should you let the folks at “Clean Flicks” do the same? Should you even care about movie ratings? Those are personal decisions, and each of us will choose differently. But know this – if you let someone else make the judgment, chances are you’re floating on a cloud of irresponsibility, ignorance and misinformation.

GRADE: F