Shrink Wrap Guest Column: How can I help my friends with their mental health?

This column offers general mental health information and is not a substitute for professional counseling. Students in crisis or seeking professional support are encouraged to contact USU Counseling and Prevention Services (CAPS) at 435-797-1012, visit TSC 306, or access after-hours crisis support by calling or texting 988.  

Dear Shrink Wrap,

I’m worried about a close friend who has been struggling with their mental health. They don’t want professional help, and I feel responsibility as their main source of support. I care about them, but it’s starting to take a toll on me. What do I do? 

Dear Aggie, 

It’s clear how much you care about your friend, and it’s also clear you’re reaching your limits. You don’t have to choose between being a good friend and taking care of yourself. Both matter and impact each other. 

First, remember this: You can care deeply without becoming someone’s only support. Your role is to care and empower, not to rescue or replace professional help.

Listening, validating feelings and trying to understand your friend’s experience does help, even if you can’t fix anything. 

Ask what feels helpful to them right now. This supports their autonomy and keeps you from guessing or over-functioning. 

You can offer ideas, but it’s not your job to figure out what they need or make decisions for them. 

Sharing specific resources, like USU, CAPS or USU CARE office, is meaningful, even if they don’t follow through. 

If your friend chooses not to seek help, you don’t have to make up for that gap. Their mental health ultimately belongs to them. 

At the same time, boundaries are essential — for you and for the friendship. 

Pay attention to signs like resentment, exhaustion or avoidance — these usually mean a boundary is needed. 

Decide what you can and can’t do — including “just not right now.” You don’t owe detailed explanations. 

Saying no doesn’t make you a bad friend. Counterintuitively, people who say no when they need to are often trusted more because their yes means something. 

When possible, pair a no with an alternative: “I can’t do that, but I could do this.” 

Create mental boundaries, times when you set worries down, during class, work or rest. Simple rituals, like writing worries down or taking a breath before tasks can help you mentally step back. 

About safety: 

Don’t promise secrecy around safety concerns. You can promise only involving people who need to know, but safety comes first. 

If you’re worried about immediate danger, involve professionals: 988, 911 or campus supports. 

Even professionals do not manage crises alone. 

Take care of yourself. 

Maintain healthy sleep, nutrition, movement, connection and things that bring you joy. 

Your friend’s emotions and outcomes are not your responsibility to control or fix. 

If you’re unsure what to do, never worry alone. Reach out to CAPS, the USU CARE office, SafeUT or 988. Getting support for yourself is not a betrayal of your friend — it’s part of caring wisely.  

— USU Counseling and Prevention Services