Shrink Wrap Guest Column: How can I maintain relationships and a social life when I go home for the summer?

This column offers general mental health information and is not a substitute for professional counseling. Students in crisis or seeking professional support are encouraged to contact USU Counseling and Prevention Services (CAPS) at 435-797-1012, visit TSC 306, or access after-hours crisis support by calling or texting 988. 

Dear Shrink Wrap, 

How can I maintain relationships and a social life when I go home for the summer?

Dear Aggie, 

One of the quieter losses of summer is the sudden absence of people who you interacted with on a regular basis; the friend you grabbed coffee with between classes, the study group that met every Thursday, the person who always sat next to you in lecture. When the semester ends, those connections don’t automatically carry over — and most of us are worse than we think at maintaining them without the built-in structure of shared space.

The research on this is worth knowing: relationship quality matters far more to wellbeing than relationship quantity. A summer with two or three genuinely tended friendships will serve you better than a crowded group chat where everyone likes each other’s posts but nobody actually talks. Quality connection takes effort — especially over distance — but it doesn’t have to take much time. Friendships don’t require proximity to survive. They require a little intentionality, and the willingness to reach out first.

Here are 6 tips to help you maintain friendships over the summer break:

1. Make a plan before you leave. The best time to schedule a summer catch-up is before the semester ends, while you’re still in the same place. Vague “let’s hang this summer” intentions rarely survive the transition, but a specific date will!
2. Pick up the phone. A 15-minute phone call does more for a friendship than a week of texting. Voice carries tone, warmth, and presence that a screen can’t replicate. Call one person this week – just to catch up!
3. Create a shared ritual. A standing weekly call, a virtual movie night, a shared reading challenge – recurring touchpoints give friendships a rhythm even without physical proximity. Small rituals add up.
4. Send something specific. A meme, an article, a photo that reminded you of them. Specificity signals that you’re actually thinking of the person, not just doing a routine check-in. It takes 30 seconds and it lands differently.
5. Don’t wait for reciprocity. Somone has to reach out first. Don’t let a friendship fade because you’re both waiting for the other person to initiate. Most people are happy to hear from you – they just won’t always be the one to say so.
6. Be honest about capacity. If you’re going through something hard, you don’t have to perform wellness for the people you care about. Letting someone in – even briefly – often deepens a friendship more than keeping things surface-level.

It’s also worth naming: summer can be when you notice which friendships have legs and which ones were mostly circumstantial. That’s not a failure — it’s information. Some connections are seasonal, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to maintain every relationship from the school year; it’s to invest in the ones that genuinely matter to you, and that you want to keep longer term. All relationships can teach you meaningful lessons!

— USU Counseling and Prevention Services