Statesman Soapbox: “The Feminine Mystique”
Even though I consider myself a feminist, I was still a little hesitant to read the infamous book that kicked off the ’60s feminist movement. For some reason, I held onto the stereotypes I’d heard about Betty Friedan’s book, “The Feminine Mystique,” until I finally gave in last week. After finishing it, I think reading this book should be mandatory for everyone – not just women or feminists – because of its applicability to our local culture and our search for happiness.
The book is based on what Friedan called “The problem that has no name,” which she and other professionals found among many housewives in the early ’60s and, I believe, still exists today. Through collecting data from doctors and speaking with women from all over the country, the same complaints kept surfacing: feelings of emptiness, invisibility, dissatisfaction and loneliness among many homemakers.
Friedan said the cause of these issues is the feminine mystique, which is an idea that says the way to “ultimate feminine fulfillment” is through becoming beautiful, healthy and only having concern for your husband, family and home. Her book goes on to describe the depression women often faced who sought fulfillment that way – by finding a husband, having children and being a suburban housewife for the rest of their lives – a goal not uncommon here.
It described women who went to college with the sole purpose of getting married, did so, had children and then spent their lives inside the home reduced to using the mind capacity of a woman half her intellect. I know these girls and so do you.
It pointed out the still-too-familiar complacency found among women in college, who had no career goals or even interests outside of their own appearance, finding a husband and living life through him and her children. It was these women who felt the biggest effects of the feminine mystique: those who found themselves trapped in the mind-numbingness of never-ending housework, no connection to the outside world and using their minds only as much as was necessary to feed her children and turn on the washing machine.
The women’s complaints of emptiness, dissatisfaction and depression arose as issues of early marriage, young pregnancy and little or no education were addressed. This unfulfilled life stopped smart women from using their full capacities as human beings by directing them into a sex-defined role that underestimates any woman’s capabilities.
Friedan not only gave a name to and described this secret unhappiness, she also proposed a variety of strategies to cure it, prevent it and help women find fulfillment for who they are – not simply as so-and-so’s wife or a housecleaner or so-and-so’s mom.
The push toward the fulfillment that the feminine mystique claims to provide is one that is constantly perpetuated by the media, religions, advertisers and even educators. It holds expectations that aren’t realistic and are truly hurting families by underestimating women’s capabilities as complex people, not just as child-bearers or housecleaners.
Skipping or not taking advantage of education because of marriage is a main cause of the feminine mystique, with a lack of self-worth and satisfaction within marriage as effects.
I find this mistake to be especially common here, within our area’s dominant culture, but not necessarily due to the dominant religion. There is definitely a strong emphasis on the importance of home and family, with preference for certain gender roles within a marriage, but this emphasis promoted by the LDS church does not in any way account for the problem of the feminine mystique.
In fact, I feel that people sometimes perpetuate the problem by being misguided or misinformed in terms of church teachings on the matter. Getting married young and skipping or quitting education have never been advised – but they almost seem to be the norm – and have caused many more sad, unfulfilled women than happy, satisfied wives.
Instead of encouraging women to be spinsters and devote their lives to careers, like many misinformed critics claim, Friedan placed a great importance on seeking fulfillment through lives made whole through marriage, children and a “serious, lifelong commitment to society” – whether that be through volunteer work, education, a job that can work around family or simply going bowling three times a week with friends, as one woman found to be her answer.
Whether or not I’ve convinced anyone to read this book, the issues Betty Friedan raised are still prevalent today and necessary to discuss. Now, while we’re in college and preparing for our futures, is the time to decide how to make the most of our own lives – not how a misguided presumption of “ultimate feminine fulfillment” says we should.
Lindsay Kite is the Copy Editor for the Utah Statesman. Comments can be sent to lindsaykite@cc.usu.edu.