Suicide – how and why we should talk about it
Suicide affects many individuals in various ways. It’s a struggle, indirectly or directly, that people could be facing all around without anyone even realizing it.
According to America’s Health Rankings, in 2020 Utah had 22.2 deaths per 100,000 population, a little over 665 deaths. This puts Utah at 5th in the United States for suicide.
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention also reports that suicide was the 7th leading cause of death in Utah in 2020 and, on average, one person died by suicide every 13 hours.
Although these statistics may just be numbers on a page to some, they represent a bigger picture that demonstrates a mental health crisis so many people face.
So then, why don’t we talk about it more?
Of course there are appropriate and inappropriate times, just like anything, to talk about suicide. However, language matters. It’s important for everyone to understand how to talk about suicide in the most proper and respectful way possible.
Maddie Shreve, a Freshman at USU said, “[Suicide] is a heavy heavy premise, and a mature topic, but I believe that it should be talked about because it can only be a benefit.”
For starters, “suicide” is not a bad word. Kathryn Leehane, an author with her own personal experiences with suicide, wrote an article for KQED where she said, “The more we understand and discuss it, the more we can help those affected by it, and potentially save lives.”
She added, “I’m haunted by the fear I could have done more to help my brother, maybe even prevented his death. But if no one wants to talk, if you can’t share your experience with those closest to you, how can you heal?”
And while the word “suicide” does invite conversation, there are other terms that are strongly discouraged, such as the phrase, “committed suicide.”
When a person attaches “committed” to it, it implies that the victim is to blame and the person who did the act was weak, which gives the whole idea of suicide a very negative connotation.
Unfortunately, this can contradict the entire point of normalizing talking about suicide in a positive and comforting light.
Dan Reidenberg, executive director of Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, told The Huffington Post, “The best phrase to use is ‘died by suicide,’ since it sends the message that the death was caused by the mental health condition.”
He further explained that we don’t hear people saying that someone “committed a heart attack,” so dying by suicide is the same concept. Using the word “committed” discriminates against those who lost their battle with a mental health disease.
Other generally discouraged suicide terminology includes, “gestures,” which suggests the person is selfish, “just” which minimizes struggles, “successful/unsuccessful suicide” which portrays death as a success and finally, “permanent solution to a temporary problem,” which portrays that you don’t take it seriously.
It’s also important to acknowledge that anyone and everyone goes through difficult times in life, and all experiences are equally valid.
Recently, during an interview with Oprah Winfrey, the former actress and current Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, opened up this idea of normalizing talking about suicide.
In the interview, Markle talked about previous suicidal thoughts that she has had and expressed how important it is to know that it’s okay to talk about them.
“I share this because, there’s so many people who are afraid to voice that they need help and I know how hard it is, personally, to not just voice it, but when you do, to be told ‘no,”’ she said.
If others can understand this concept and become aware that so many others are affected or are going through the same thing, then it may assist them in coping with it because they aren’t alone.
Shreve shared her experience of her uncle dying by suicide and how, rather than blaming him or trying to find someone to blame, her family chooses to live everyday for him, in a way that would make him proud.
The months of January through March seem to be hard for everyone, but especially those struggling with a mental illness. This can be for various possible reasons including the cold and gloomy weather, isolation because of COVID-19 and the start of a new school semester with no breaks in sight.
However, no matter what time of year it is or what the sky looks like outside, there is one thing to remember that will always be true; everyone has worth, value and purpose.
If you or anyone you know is going through these same struggles, there are resources listed below to ensure that everyone can have access to the help they need.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline (24/7): 800-273-8255
SafeUT (24/7, text or call or download the app): 833-372-3388
USU CAPS (Schedule a therapy session M-F 8:00am-5:00pm. Free for USU students): 435-797-1012.