True to Self: USU groups offer support for students of all sexual orientations
For one Utah State University student, being gay can make day-to-day life more difficult.
But gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GBLT) students at USU have several places to turn to take the edge off being different from the majority of their peers.
Allies, the Pride! Alliance, the Gay and Lesbian Resource Center, and the Gay Straight Alliance, which will soon be L.I.F.E. – Life Is For Everyone – are just a few of those organizations offering services.
Rusty Rigby, the coordinator at the GLSRC, and a work-study student, said the center is there for education and is a resource to campus, faculty and the community. He said they want to help people become more aware and open to the issues because it is limited in Logan.
“We are providing a safe environment for gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender,” Rigby, a senior majoring in mathematics, said.
These clubs and organizations help students like Tyler Gardner, who said he came out last summer. He said he knew he was gay when he was 10 years old, but didn’t tell anyone for years.
“Homosexual people get attractions the same time as other people, but they have to hide it,” Gardner, a freshman majoring in music, said.
He said gay people usually won’t come out until they are in their 20s because they are still under their parents’ control.
When Gardner moved to Logan in the fall to go to school, he said he kept it from his roommates for about a week.
Mitch Lillywhite, an undeclared freshman, was one of those roommates.
Lillywhite said it was weird, but nothing changed at first. He said it was just awkward for them and they didn’t know what to think.
“Later on in the semester, he would say we had cute hair or something. He tickled one of my roommates’ feet,” Lillywhite said. “He said one of the roommates was cute. That’s when we decided it was over the line.”
Gardner said three of his roommates – not Lillywhite – shunned him and the university ended up moving him out of the apartment.
They moved him to the Towers to a private room that Gardner said was a lot more expensive. He said the university was very supportive.
He and his roommates tried to help Gardner as friends, Lillywhite said, but he thought they were judging him. Gardner said they weren’t judging him because he was gay, though.
“He can be open about it, but don’t hit on your friends. We didn’t want him kicked out because he was gay. It was because things had happened,” Lillywhite said.
“We would come home and there are two guys in the bed or cuddling on the couch,” he said. “It wasn’t because he was gay – it was because of the way he was acting.”
Lillywhite said he felt like someone of a different sex was living with them. They felt like they had to be more careful when they were changing their clothes or getting out of the shower, he said.
“When he was there, we had to be careful and had to work around it,” Lillywhite said. “It’s almost like an unattractive girl is living in your apartment.”
Lillywhite said he doesn’t agree with homosexuality, but he isn’t up against it. He said he didn’t care if Gardner lived with them as long as he wasn’t acting on it.
“When he started hitting on us and his boyfriend started coming over and cuddling on his bed – my one roommate is a homophobe – he was terrorized,” Lillywhite said.
He said he doesn’t feel bad that Gardner had to move out of their apartment.
“I think moving him had to be better for both of us,” Lillywhite said. “I do feel bad that he felt like he was being judged. He felt like we were against him with everything we said.
“I didn’t want him to feel alienated or different, but on the inside, we didn’t want him there. We thought he would feel better in a different environment. We wanted to supportively move him,” Lillywhite said. “He needed a better environment and so did we.”
A USU student who said he is homosexual and asked to only be identified as Ethan said, “I have no problem with people not liking homosexuality as long as they don’t try to deny us rights. They can have any opinion that they want as long as it doesn’t hurt other people.”
Ethan, a junior at USU, said he thinks making someone move out of an apartment because they are gay is a form of segregation.
“We’re not attracted to every guy and even if we are – we’re not going to take advantage of them,” Ethan said. “Men think that every gay guy is attracted to them and wants to do sexual things with them, but that’s a huge misconception.”
Ethan said most people are able to tell that he is gay. He said he has been called names and had offensive things said to him, but he considers himself lucky because he’s never been physically abused.
The majority of people are quite tolerant, Ethan said.
There are some who aren’t, he said, but the reason for that is that they don’t understand homosexuality.
Ethan said the best way to understand it is to become friends with someone who is gay or lesbian. He said getting to know someone who is a homosexual will make it harder to have prejudices against them.
“You’ll see that we’re normal like everyone else,” Ethan said. “Other than we’re attracted to people of the same gender – we’re exactly the same as you. It will make you realize we aren’t these sex-crazed deviants.”
Ethan said he was having gay tendencies when he was in fourth or fifth grade.
“There was always something about boys. I never felt physical attraction towards girls,” Ethan said. “I’m completely convinced that you are born that way.”
Ethan said he thinks it’s a bad assumption that homosexual people chose to be that way.
“It is a more difficult life,” Ethan said. “I don’t know why someone would choose a more difficult life without some extenuating circumstances.”
“The thing I stress the most is that we’re the same as our heterosexual counterparts, and should be treated just the same,” Ethan said.
Ethan said he came out of the closet in high school, so he didn’t have to hide his homosexuality when he was younger.
He said there is a problem when people try to hide it and they will date and even marry someone of the opposite gender.
“That’s not a good thing,” Ethan said. “That’s not a happy marriage for anyone.”
One thing that Ethan said is helping that situation is that people are coming out younger and younger.
“USU has a really closeted community,” Rigby said. “I have a lot of friends who haven’t come out, but who have confided in me.”
Rigby said the GLSRC doesn’t get funding from the university. Instead, he said they receive donations and also get some funding through grants.
Rigby said he organizes the center and gets volunteers to staff it about 30 hours a week. He said they have a collection of gay and lesbian fiction and non-fiction books, literature, magazines and videos.
The center also offers support and discussion groups, as well as other services for the gay and lesbian community.
Wednesdays from noon to 1 p.m. at the GLSRC they have the “Brown Bag Support and Discussion Group,” where GLBT students can bring a lunch and talk, Rigby said. Also, every Friday they show a documentary from 12:30 p.m.-2 p.m.
Rigby said more people are coming out of the closet younger now.
Coming out of the closet is a continual process because people can’t always tell they are gay and there is always someone new to tell, Rigby said.
Gardner said people don’t understand how they could be different. He said there are times when people are cruel, but usually they will just keep to themselves.
“Instead of really wanting to be mean to us, they are just scared to say anything, and those of them that are willing to say anything usually aren’t very educated people and aren’t as tolerant,” Gardner said.
Gardner said he thinks people who don’t understand homosexuality should have a gay friend.
“Everyone should have one. Just because they’re relatable, they’re not some rare white buffalo,” Gardner said. “They’re not really any different. And even if you don’t support us, I think that you should at least be familiar.”
-hollyadams@cc.usu.edu