Valentine’s Day: Define the relationship with your significant other

Another fun and romantic date is drawing to a close.

Walking back home, you and your date both laugh and joke, reliving the highlights of the evening. You get to the doorstep, lean in to say goodnight when you are stopped in your tracks by these fateful words:

“We need to talk”

Whether you are a guy or a girl, you know what these words mean and you know what is coming next. These words are a doubled edged sword, acting as either the launch codes into exclusivity or the words etched on the gravestone of your relationship. You prepare yourself, hoping for the best but expecting the worst as you begin the dreaded DTR.

DTR or “Define the Relationship” is that iconic moment in a romantic relationship when both parties come together to decide whether or not to move forward into exclusivity. All throughout history couples have found ways to announce their romantic intentions, whether through love letters or trading livestock. The DTR is simply our 21st century collegiate version of romantic declaration.

Though often perceived as an awkward experience, many students feel that in hindsight the DTR is a positive thing.

When reflecting on a past DTR, Andrew Earl, a Freshman at Utah State University said “it was rough at the time because we were seeing things differently but the results of it were good so looking back, it was overall good.”

Haley Jennings, a Sophomore echoed a similar sentiment.

“It was kinda awkward but in the end I was glad to know where we were at,” she said.

With the rapid approaching romance of Valentine’s day, it can be difficult to decide whether a budding relationship can withstand the awkward and sometimes presumptuous nature of a DTR or if it is better to postpone the inevitable conversation.

Defining the relationship before Feb 14 can be a potentially good thing, Earl said. Having the conversation a week or two before the holiday can help save money that would have been otherwise spent on chocolate for a person who is “not that into you.”

Jennings offered an opposing perspective.

“Just avoid it,” she said. “You are supposed to be happy and in love at that time so if the DTR goes bad, you are alone on Valentine’s Day.”

John Mermings, an electrical engineering major said the whole idea of February as a month for relationships is silly.

“You shouldn’t just rush into things because you want someone to give you gifts or be your emotional companion in the month of February. Don’t force it, you got time,” he said.

In short, the timing of your DTR depends on you and your unique relationship. There are advantages and disadvantages to having that conversation both before and after Valentine’s day. But, even if the DTR goes horribly wrong and you are left alone on Feb 14, at least you still have chocolate.

— alina.haws@aggiemail.usu.edu

@AlinaShaw5