Valentine’s Day: Being single

A large part of the culture that exists within the United States is a type of romanticism that prevails on the Feb 14.

More commonly called Valentine’s Day, the day is associated with couples, chocolates, roses, comically large stuffed animals and the purchasing of restaurant reservations from a guy on Craigslist — who employed his skills in capitalism and reserved every table at the restaurant your love interest wanted to eat at. It’s pagan at its roots and thrives in a consumer driven market: much like Halloween and St. Patrick’s Day.

Many students, like Craig Whiting who’s engaged to be married this month, gave his thoughts about Valentine’s Day.

“I think that Valentine’s Day causes some what a division: Single people hang out with single people,” he said. “Couples hang out with couples at least here. I haven’t seen too many people get together because of Valentine’s day…You have single parties and then you have couples’ parties. I feel like people either love Valentine’s Day or they hate it.”

There seems to be a negative attitude that exists on Valentine’s Day. During the writing process many students agreed to be interviewed, but declined to answer questions once they realized it was about Valentine’s day.

Where this negativity comes from isn’t definite, but Vanessa Mena, a junior studying liberal arts said, “I think being single creates (that negativity). I think people get a little mad, because it’s such a big holiday, and say, ‘Well if I’m not in a relationship then it doesn’t really pertain to me. Why is this such a big deal?’”

Mena continued.

“Everyone will ask, ‘What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?’ they’ll be like, ’Why do I have to have plans for Valentine’s Day?’ No one is ever like, ‘What are your plans for President’s Day?’” she said.

Lexi Hamlin said she feels it can be positive day.

“People are nicer on Valentine’s Day,” she said.

Much of the negativity that exists comes from societal pressure on people, who are single, to engage in a relationship or find a Valentine.

Charles Bentley, a psychologist with USU’s Counseling and Psychological Service, said he has never had students approach him about specifically about Valentine Day’s problems.

“Thinking more intuitively, if you were single and wishing that you weren’t single, there’s a lot of pressure. I would imagine, that it would be a day that you would be bummed out,” he said.

   Bentley offered advice to those students who might feel negative about being single both on Valentines and throughout the year.

“I think, that if you’re feeling that your self-esteem or self-confidence is compromised because you’re single, I think that’s a distorted way of thinking about it,” he said. “I think that we’re just single at different parts of our lives. I don’t see anything really wrong with that.”

Being single is something to look at with a different perspective, he said. It’s a part of being human.

“Sometimes we’re single. I don’t think that everyone is as compelled in being in a partnership. I think that there’s a lot of variation in how motivated people are in that, if at all,” he said. “I would like to normalize that it’s perfectly okay that people aren’t super motivated in being in a relationship.”

Whatever one decides to do on Valentine’s Day — whether that thing is with their romantic interest, friends or they’re by themselves that day  — is by no means a prescription for misery.

Moreover, if one is single and “third-wheeling” or they’re single because they were dumped the day before, because “She thinks you should see other people” doesn’t mean they’re destined to be alone. If they won’t be touching anything with their mouths but a copious amount of ice cream as they watch an equally copious amount of Netflix, doesn’t mean that’s what they’re depressed or will be alone forever.

Joe Ringo, a sophomore, said he didn’t have any plans for Valentine’s day, but he’s going to spend it with friends.

“I generally just act pretty depressed,” he said, “but I find other things to do, spend it with people I care about.”

— dillanpassmore@aggiemail.usu.edu

@DirtyGhettoPass