Wedding bells vary among faiths
Marriage is not always wedding bells, rice and white dresses. It is approached differently by many faiths.
For instance, in the Quaker faith, when a couple wants to marry they write a letter to the clerk and arrange a clearness meeting with other members of the congregation, Cathy Webb, a member of the Logan Society of Friends, said. This is to make sure the way is open, intentions are clear and attitudes are positive. It is also to review what the couple wants in a marriage.
“It is to help them to see if they see eye to eye, to help them become a loving couple,” Webb said.
If marriage is not clear or the couple feel they cannot continue, they will possibly close the issue. The clearness committee meets when the committee and the couple feel they can continue.
The Quakers view marriage as a covenant between the couple and God or the divine. No mortal person can perform marriage. The couple announce marriage in meeting and sign a certificate binding their marriage. Other people present during the meeting, including friends and family, also sign the certificate. The couple then obtains a legal marriage certificate at the courthouse.
“Marriage is very serious; and honesty and integrity are a major part of marriage,” Webb said.
She said all is done in the spirit of worship. People present at the meeting give the couple advice and good wishes.
“It is a very intimate, close ceremony. It is not a very formal ceremony,” she said. “It concentrates on the nature of the commitment and not on the presentation. It is a celebration of love.”
Quakers focus on simplicity which is what the marriage ceremony reflects.
Webb quoted an aphorism favored by Lucretia Mott (coined 1850) on the Quaker view of marriage.
“In the true marriage relationship the independence of the husband and wife is equal. Their deep mutual and their deep obligations reciprocal,” she said.
In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints much of what goes on before the wedding depends on what certain traditions of the couple’s families want to maintain, said Grant Vest, a stake president for the faith.
“They are encouraged to make proper plans for the wedding. There are some [Logan LDS] institute classes available to help the couple through the process of marriage for those who would like to take them,” Vest said .
Civil marriages are recognized in the church but a marriage in the temple is encouraged more. Members feel this binds husbands and wives, and families can be together for eternity. When sealed in the temple they believe significant relationships on this earth can be continued into the next life, he said.
Before the couple are allowed in the temple they must have an interview with their bishop and later stake president, to make sure they meet certain requirements to be worthy to enter the temple. In the temple, sacred ceremonial clothing is worn by the bride and groom. At the reception, the bride and groom dress in traditional white wedding dress and tuxedo. Temple marriages are formal weddings and are conducted in the same way in every situation. Marriage is viewed as a very sacred, important and essential ordinance. The process of marriage and sealing together for eternity is performed in the temple with the family present, Vest said.
Vest said the church thinks the highest priority is the traditional relationship in a marriage, where the husband provides well enough that the wife is not required to work, so she may stay home and raise children.
“We understand that, based on society today, it sometimes doesn’t always work out that way,” he said. “Spouses decided to share responsibility with home and family or reverse roles,” he said.
The Jewish faith views marriage very seriously.
Michael Ballam, professor of music history, was able to study the Jewish faith and music at the Great Synagogue in Jerusalem.
“Music is a big part of the wedding ceremony,” Ballam said.
Dancing occurs at the wedding, but men and women are separated. The couple is married under a canopy to remind them they are the children of Israel, he said. A Rabbi performs the ceremony and the vows are read out of the book of the Songs of Solomon.
Wine is also very important in the wedding ceremony, Ballam said.
“A wine glass is broken after the groom and bride drink out of it,” he said. “They see it as making a sacred commitment.”
The bride dresses very modestly in white and wears a veil. If a child marries out of the faith, a funeral is held instead of a marriage.
“Marriage outside the faith is impossible to forgive to an Orthodox Jew,” Ballam said.
In the Jewish household the woman is the most important element. The religion is passed through her. She performs the Sabbath ceremony and is treated with great respect and honor at the wedding and through her life.
Father Clarence Sandoval of St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church said before a couple is married in the Catholic church they take classes in pre-marriage preparation.
Later, a priest will sit down with the couple and conduct what is called a pre-marriage inventory. It is a question session to give an opportunity for dialog between the couple to look for future problems, Sandoval said. If there are potential problems, the father will suggest counseling and postponing the wedding. When the couple is ready to continue they are given a booklet called “Together for Life” which provides a look at what the ceremony will be like and what needs to be planned for the wedding.
“In the church, a wedding is viewed as a sacramental ceremony between a couple. The couple will walk as equals in their marriage together,” he said.
The marriage ceremonies vary somewhat depending on the ethnic origin of the couple. If both members are Catholic, then Mass is celebrated. If one member is Catholic, then a ceremony is held that includes an exchange of vows and rings. A wedding is officiated by a priest but the couple marries one another.
As long as the couple understand their vows and communicate with each other, they will do very well, Sandoval said.
-kassrobison@cc.usu.edu