Week urges relationship health
The Wellness Center, GLBTA office, the Counseling Center and SAAVI (Sexual Assault and Anti-Violence Information) collaborated to organize Healthy Relationship and Sexual Responsibility Week, which begins Monday, Feb. 14.
Monica Heiner is the SAAVI coordinator at USU. She has a master’s in social work and is a certified social worker. As victim advocate for the university, any student or staff that is a victim of violence are entitled to her services.
“I help students and with crisis counseling, problem-solving and connect them to campus and community resources. I also have the opportunity to create and implement educational programs or initiatives to keep sexual health at the forefront of students minds,” she said.
This is part of the reason the health departments are making a collaborative effort to help students to have healthier relationships sexually and mentally.
Karinne Van Wagoner, a senior in community health education, is an intern at the wellness center. She was in charge of planning the fair.
“Something I really want people to gain from this is to realize that everyone is different. To be aware of that, and be patient is crucial when it comes to being in a relationship,” she said.
Van Wagoner and Ashlee Cannon, a senior in community health, organized donations from local businesses for the fair, which will be used for prizes that students can win in the raffle. Participants can win gift cards to restaurants and salons, the Anniversary Inn and some dating packages.
“We’re trying to get the information out there that there are risks, even at Utah State, and things you can do to prevent suffering from those,” Cannon said.
Heiner said it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship when you are in the heat of the situation.
“Your brain is in survival mode, so it’s hard to distinguish. I would encourage students to recognize if there are certain topics that they don’t feel like they can bring up in conversation with their partner,” she said.
Heiner also said not being able to communicate about certain topics can be a risk, and students should consider whether the consequences of that conflict would be violent or just conversational.
Heiner advised students to look at the control in the relationship.
“If you’re wondering if your relationship is healthy, ask yourself if you’re allowed to have friends outside of your relationship, and if you can spend time on your hobbies, and with your family,” she said. “If there is major jealousy or manipulation going on, it’s probably not mentally healthy for either party.”
Ryan Barfus, prevention specialist at USU, is responsible for preventative education inside classrooms, and deals with judicial problems on campus having to do with drug and alcohol abuse.
“People go to parties, hang out and drink together. The problem is, if that’s the foundation of the relationship, it usually isn’t a strong one,” he said.
Barfus said building trust, compatibility and communication are a much better foundation, if the relationship is to go further than just having fun together.
If students find they are caught in a relationship they realize is unhealthy, or they no longer feel comfortable in, Heiner and Barfus both advise them to seek help and guidance. This can come from the free counseling available on campus, a spiritual adviser or even from good friends and family.
“I encourage people to be willing to call, or send an e-mail and ask questions. Relationships aren’t easy, and people should feel free to seek advice,” Heiner said. “It’s always better if you prepare and prevent the problem before it becomes a major issue, and we provide that perspective.”
Heiner said people should decide what kind of relationship they want before they enter into any kind of commitment, and that there must be self-discovery before they decide. They need to define what their physical, social and emotional boundaries are.
She said sometimes students forget that everyone is on their best behavior on a first date, or sometimes even the first 17 dates, and each person needs to spend time ovjectively looking at the relationship.
“People absolutely need to spend time getting to know one another, without sexual correspondences. They need to be honest about why they’re in the relationship, and why it’s satisfying to them,” Heiner said.
The Healthy Relationship and Sexual Responsibility fair will include the True Aggie dating game.
“There will be three students on one side of a wall, and one on the other. The one gets to choose one of the three to go on a date with after asking them a bunch of questions. We’ll play that multiple times, and participants win one of our dating packages,” Barfus said.
Barfus said there will also be a dating panel at the fair, where students can ask the panel any questions they have concerning relationships or dating. The panel will include different types of counselors, a medical expert, married students and others.
There will also be booths that will have dating ideas, tips on how to get help, how to enhance relationships, attendance of “The Vagina Monologues” will be promoted, along with all the resources that are available for students on campus.
The dating game will take place in the International Lounge from 11:30 -12:30, and the panel will be from 12:30-1:30. The week’s activities will extend through Friday.
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