WHO doesn’t want another Alien sequel?

Once again, the world is trying to ruin the diversity in parasitic infections. It has been 30 years since we eradicated smallpox. Now, we are trying to kill off the adorable Guinea Worm. This cute little guy likely inspired the idea of the protagonist from Alien. In much of the same way, it cuts itself out of your intestines after a year of feeding off of you.

I don’t see what the big deal is. This so-called parasite is just trying to eat, survive and reproduce. Being the humans we are, we just have to go around killing off every last kind of animal. Take the buffalo for example. These buffalo used to roam the Great Plains of the glorious United States of America until we decided that trains and shooting guns off on them was the best idea. Take smallpox. We decided that we didn’t like all of these people dying all of the time and decided to take matters into our own destructive hands.

Take the rinderpest virus. We didn’t like the near 100 percent mortality rate of our livestock being infected with this. I personally don’t have an issue with animals fevering up and pooping themselves to death, but apparently some life is worth more than others. Therefore, we killed off this living thing.

If any of you virologist or immunologist nerds write me about my definition of a living thing, I will sneak legos into your shoes.

Anyway, who is the one that get’s to decide this? WHO, in fact, gets to decide. The World Health Organization is actually not led by Pete Townshend, but Switzerland. I see more holes in this than the cheese they are famous for. How is it that matters of the earth aren’t decided in international territory? Don’t get me wrong. I know Switzerland is pretty close in terms of neutrality. This being said though, you would still have to abide by Switzerland’s one or two laws.

This fascist empire has the full rights to decide what diseases and viruses I get access to. The unsettling truth, though, is that this fascist actually houses the only remaining smallpox and rinderfriends in the world. They keep them in captivity like a deadly zoo. I am a bit surprised that PETA hasn’t done anything about this yet. They are the usual terrorists.

Unless they are conspiring.

We need to move the World Health Organisation.

That way, PETA can’t easily collaborate with them.

There are two places that I can think of that we could relocate WHO. The International Space Station and any International House of Pancakes would work due to the fact that they are actually not bound to any nation. My personal vote is for the ISS. It is mostly sterile in space. That being said, should we give such an evil company the capability to air drop diseases?

We already saw how poorly that went with the Zika virus. We all know that WHO was just trying to introduce some new life into Braziil. Why they did this is odd though. Aren’t they trying to kill off life? How could they do that by sending out new life forms for human cohabitation?

In short, Switzerland is responsible for the Zika virus.

— Kaihartley@hellokitty.com