Writer ready to admit to several vices
As Spouse will attest, I’m not big on introspection. Looking inward for answers, examining one’s self — best left for the doctor’s office, I would say.
But in a recent rare moment of self-evaluation, it did occur to me that I have three vices. What’s more, I am ready to admit them and maybe even consider dealing with them.
First, mustard.
I cannot pass up a jar of mustard, particularly any new type of mustard. I’ve got to have it. The inside panel of my fridge is at least 70 percent mustard. I’ve got the brown kind, the gritty kind, the mild kind, kinds with relish, some made from raspberries and cranberries and pecans, not to mention chipolte, horseradish, Hawaiian, Russian, Dijon, and, of course, good old French’s yellow. My kids give me gift packs of three kinds of mustard for holiday gifts — drives Spouse bonkers. She would like to reclaim the refrigerator space, I suspect — and I love them for it.
In case you are wondering, my favorite is Hickory Farms Sweet and Hot with a close second from the Sandwich Pal brand.
Vice 2: Sprinkler heads, the hand-held kind. I have sprinkler nozzles that can do five different settings, a dozen settings, more settings that you can count, ones that can make like they are a fire hose, ones that put out a mist to rival gentle Hawaiian rains, others that would take the hide off an old buffalo. I cannot pass up a spray nozzle. Plastic, metal, combination, you name it. And I use them all eventually, because they all start leaking after about two uses, right? I’m a sucker for a new nozzle.
Vice 3: Board games. I admit it, doctor, I love board games. I love little dice games and card games and all things of that around-the-table ilk. And I prefer fast-moving ones. Keep your Risk or Monopoly — yuck. I’ve even got to be in a pretty gentle mood to handle slow-moving Clue. But I get a nasty twitch when I hear about, pass by or see someone playing a new board game.
As part of my therapy to overcome my vices — and even though no one asked — I’m going to share with you (just in time for summer around-the-patio table fun) the best of the best when it comes to family games.
Get the Juices Going: These are games that can learned in one minute, and last about five; games to get you pumping and ready for more games. Can’t think fast? Go play Risk.
Apples to Apples. Has been around long enough that many people have it. If you haven’t played it, you are missing a treat. Be careful, though, as the red expansion box is tough enough and strange enough it might take the hilarity off the game for some folks. The green box is a must for your game shelf.
ASAP and Frazzle; PDQ and Smartmouth. ASAP involves categories (magazine titles, tourist attractions) and letters of the alphabet. First one to shout out a match wins a hand. Frazzle is a longer version of the same idea. PDQ and Smartmouth toss down a couple different letters of the alphabet and players come up words using those letters, sometimes in a special order. PDQ is a great “starter” for an evening of games. Cheap, too.
Get Creative: Dictionary Game. There are boxed, store-bought versions of this, but just make your own. Get crazy words and teams of folks have to come up with definitions for the word, to bluff the other team into guessing which one was right. Can’t come up with words? Just Google “bluffing words,” or “strange words” or “Balderdash words.” People actually make lists of them for just this purpose.
Hoopla. The best of the Cranium spinoffs. Mixes Pictionary, charades and fast-thinking alliterations into one fun, fun game. Easy to learn, but might separate the game-playing wheat from the game-playing chaff in your circle of friends.
Times Up is similar, but a bit more difficult, though still a lot of fun.
Classic Card Games: Jungle Uno. Same as regular Uno, except with each hand (starting with seven cards and descending), the new dealer can change the rules. Addition (two cards can be dropped if they equal the one on the discard pile) or subtraction or special “wild cards” or canceling a Draw Four card if the next player is holding one but is a Draw Eight card for the next player … well the “new” rules are endless and add to the fun.
Target. Sort of like Phase 10, except that there are five “targets” that players are playing for from the cards in their hand and each target cards is worth a certain amount of points. First one to 50 (or whatever level is set prior to the game) is the winner. Moves faster and is more enjoyable than the sometimes-frustrating Phase 10.
Drop me a line with your favorite board or card games. I’d love to see them. Oh, and drop in a gift certificate for some mustard, too, if you can. I’d hate to run low this summer.