Column: PETA protestors in Logan
Logan, Utah, has arrived. I know we have had some Earth First! vigilante attacks, but this is the first time I can remember PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) – not to be confused with Peta ( People Eating Tasty Animals ) or Pita ( tasty Middle Eastern alternative to sliced bread) – protesting here, which they did Monday.
I got a press leak last Sunday evening and was hoping it was going to be one of those naked supermodel things where they hold up signs that say “We’d rather be naked than wear fur.” But Logan is
not much of a fur-trading center, even though it used to be before those too-efficient trappers trapped everything and sold it to pre-PETA patrons back East. The “cache” of furs begot our valley’s name, but I digress as usual.
Back to those ethical treatment people. PETA was here to protest the treatment of the chickens that end up fried in a Kentucky sort of way. I’m not making light of poor treatment of animals because it is a serious issue – as my French bulldog will attest. I just wonder how PETA decided to pick on the secret recipe place which is across the street from Pizza Rut, Taco Daylight Savings Time and two major grocery chains. Between the four of them, there must be an entire animal kingdom Armageddon to protest. For the most part, the colonel only picks on chickens.
The protesters showed up with someone dressed in a chicken suit that I kept waiting to cross the road and, thus, answer that age-old question. They recruited a half-dozen local youth to hold up hand-lettered signs and a campaign coordinator to show a video to anyone not too squeamish to watch. It was all very ’60s – in a 2005 sort of way.
I can say unequivocally that it did not seem to affect business. In fact, it seems that quite a few patrons took the “Boycott KFC” signs as a personal affront to their digestive tract.
“Why do these PETA people hate America? How dare they pick on a helpless fast food chain? Boy, I sure could go for some hot wings about now.” I could hear them grumbling.
In the 40 minutes I was there, they started going inside and using the drive-through window in record numbers. Many of the drive-through patrons stopped long enough on their way out to wish the protesters ill will and make offers to buy them each an extra crispy drumstick. One truck full of four chicken-eating enthusiasts even went out of their way to drive around the block twice to belch some turbo diesel exhaust on the protesters from the safety of their Dodge Ram. What’s the point of eating chicken in front of vegetarians if you can’t protest clean air at the same time?
In fact, most of the ugliness seemed to be coming from those protesting the protesters from the safety of their speeding vehicles. I’m a meat-munching non-fan of PETA myself, but given the choice of supporting the protesters or chicken-consuming huddled masses, I’d have to flip a nugget and get back to you.