Where to go
She said:
I have a confession to make.
Although I have been accused of being slightly OCD by friends and family, this goes beyond anything anyone could imagine.
I am a restroom guru.
Since I was little, I have had an undeniable curiosity about bathrooms in any given situation. I have been in the bathroom in every airport and restaurant I have ever visited. I often ask to use the restroom while I am visiting friends – just out of curiosity – and most of the time I don’t even have to go.
The average human spends about 1,500 hours of their life in a bathroom, which proves the importance of a room with such small square-footage.
I have set a standard of water closet requirements to judge each bathroom against. On the top of the list is cleanliness. A bathroom is a breeding ground for germs, which is why my favorite time to use the bathroom is shortly after 8 p.m., right after the cleaning crew finishes up.
It is also important that any good John is in working order. No locks that you don’t realize are broken until it’s too late, no jammed paper towel dispensers, each sink in operational order and above all, each toilet flushes with confidence.
Third, each bathroom needs to have adequate – if not superfluous – supplies. In addition to the usual tissue, seat covers and soap, a female bathroom needs to have an adequate supply of feminine products and the good kind – not what your great-grandmother used in the ’30s.
The fourth and last criteria by which I judged the restrooms were overall odor and appearance. Girls don’t want to feel like they are taking care of business in the dark or in the middle of the street. A female restroom needs adequate privacy and comfort, while maintaining a fresh scent.
Therefore, while Steve was busy thinking of potty jokes to put in his column, I spent great time and careful planning deciding on my top three choices for bathrooms on campus:
3. First floor of the library: If you walk into the library and straight to the back, juxtaposed next to each other are two restroom options.
The first, a typical female bathroom complete with multiple stalls, supplies and options and second, a single-stall unisex bathroom built for one.
Although both of these bathrooms came close in the race for number three, the single stall won out. At the end of the day when the library is your last stop, it’s nice to have some time to yourself in the privacy of your own personal bathroom.
In this bathroom, you can check your makeup, take care of your business and take your time, because no one else is there to judge your techniques.
2. The big bathroom on the second floor of the TSC: This is one of the more popular bathrooms on campus, which is why it deserves its ranking as number two.
With the heavy traffic in and out of this throne chamber, it’s amazing that the counters and sinks stay virtually spotless and again, no line.
This bathroom should be avoided on event nights or dances, but other than that, the squeaky clean feel of the white counters, white floors and white walls make you feel as if you are germ free.
1. Third floor of Old Main: Welcome to the world of porcelain and dark blue granite countertops. This bathroom is smaller than most female bathrooms, but I have never been held up with a line. This could be because I am most likely to visit this bathroom at approximately 8 a.m., when most students are crawling out of bed. This bathroom is fully stocked, fully equipped and I’ve only witnessed one water spot on the mirrors in my three years on campus.
Emma Tippetts is the Assistant Features editor for the Utah Statesman. Comments can be sent to etippets@cc.usu.edu
He said:
I use the restroom with the person in the pants. That means I’m a man.
As a man, I like things that are big: big trucks, big hamburgers and big bathrooms. If I get winded walking from the door to the furthest stall, I know I’ve found a winner.
This is because going to the bathroom is “me” time. I want as much space between me and the nearest fellow human being as possible.
When looking for the restrooms here on campus, there are several aspects that I’m looking for more than others.
For example, I know a lot of people are concerned with the temperature of the water, right out of the faucet. I’m of the gender considerably less likely to wash hands. I’m not going to concern myself with something that I’m only going to use one time out of 10.
On the other hand, I won’t use the stalls if there are no hooks on the door. I just refuse to hold my backpack on my lap. That is what sets us apart from the animals.
While I prefer a nice clean room, too much is a distraction. If the place is too nice, people start wanting to decorate. The closest thing to art I want to see is limericks consisting of obscenities craved into the door.
The men’s room where I used to work had a decorative tree. That’s just disgusting.
Finally, I refuse to use the wheelchair acessable toilet. This isn’t because I don’t want to take them away from people who need them. I am not a tall man. If I use these higher toilets, my feet dangle. I wasn’t able to use the public restroom with my feet on the ground until I was 17. I have no intention of having flashbacks of the days before.
3. Ray B. West Room 210. I don’t know why I know about this one, but I do. If you get the chance, or get stuck in between numbers one and two, check it out – it’s got a different flair that I enjoy.
The most unique aspect of this restroom is the huge window across the far wall. This is a great light for educational reading – such as a copy of today’s Statesman – and saves the university a very small amount of money on lighting.
The sinks here are around the corner from the real hardware, meaning less awkward conversations with people I don’t know well enough to feel comfortable talking to in the restroom.
2. Engineering Room 109. This is what I mean by huge men’s room. If the engineering program gets too big, it could be used as a classroom. They echo when you walk in and it’s empty is nothing short of majestic.
Unfortunately, you have to wait until later in the day to hear the echo since it’s prime location in one of the busier buildings on campus make more full of traffic than I’d like. Still, during a late night in the Engineering Computer Lab, it’s worth going downstairs for.
The room’s well maintained, mostly automatic and complete with a coat rack by the door. Not that I’ve ever seen anyone use it, it’s still nice to know I have the option.
1. Cazier Library Room 220: This men’s room is a little out of the way, but I can not stress how worth it going to the second floor can be. It’s not as big as number two, but it makes up for it by making excellent use of the space it has.
Basically, you’re getting two restrooms for the price of one. Two separate rooms divided by purpose. That’s the kind of maximum separation that I’m looking for.
Plus it’s the new section of the library, so nothing has too many miles on it.
Steve Shinney is the Features Editor of the Utah Statesman. Comments can be sent to
steveshinney@cc.usu.edu
Room 109 in the new Engineering Building is huge. (Michael Sharp)
Despite high traffic, the second floor TSC ladies room is usually very clean. (Jessica Alexander)
On the ground floor of the library, there’s an excellent single occupancy restroom. (Jessica Alexander)