COLUMN: Logan – The new Cancun
It’s that time of year again. That time of year when we all inevitably file onto cruise ships, airplanes or, for the rest of us less-privileged kids, our freshly washed sports cars and head on to our chosen destinations, which most likely include Cancun, Jamaica or Daytona Beach. Yes, Spring Break is upon us once again.
Of course, for all socially acceptable college students, there are no feasible alternatives to this scenario. I believe MTV has provided us with a perfectly representative picture of all Spring Breakers’ vacation happenings. I, for one, can say I definitely fit that mold. Endless amounts of money to spend, exotic beach locations, inappropriate drunken mishaps that may or may not have ended up on late-night infomercials; all are pretty typical of me and everyone else I know. But who knows, maybe this year won’t be so predictable.
By the slight chance that some of you never quite settled on which tropical hot spot to drop in on next week, I thought I should mention a few last-minute ideas to keep everyone in Spring Break mode, whether you plan on sitting this one out in Logan or not.
First and foremost, if MTV has taught us anything, it is that Spring Break is nothing without water. Water is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of Spring Break. After some moderate research, I have found that Logan isn’t so much located in a coastal region, which causes some hindrance to the whole mandatory beach party idea. Never fear, no rules I am aware of have ever specified that the water required for the partying has to be in a liquid state or come from a legitimate source like an ocean.
I dare say that our often seasonally neglected friend through the canyon, Bear Lake, can very well serve this purpose. Though not by any means exotic or tropical in nature, this vacation spot is a beautiful snow-filled wonder this time of year. There is plenty of Spring Break fun to be had there, though not so much in swimming suits as in big, poofy snow clothes. Loud music playing from someone’s car stereo, extreme snow angel making, wet coat contests; I can see it now … Aggies Gone Wild: Bear Lake.
Another staple of a true Spring Break experience is being in a big group of people. This group of people might not necessarily share the same purpose as you for being there, but as long as there are multiple people in the same place, I’d say you can count it. Wal-Mart is pretty busy in the afternoons, or if you and your roommates happen to have a couple extra people over one day (family members are acceptable), I’d go ahead and call that a ragin’ Spring Break party.
I believe if enough people follow these tried-and-tested tips, Logan will soon be the new Cancun. In a step toward this prediction, one Web site I found even shockingly listed Utah as a top Spring Break location because of all the hiking and skiing opportunities. Not surprisingly, they also made sure to throw in a nice disclaimer that if at any point of your stay you decide to forgo the outdoors, you’ll find yourself “dreadfully bored” and should probably look elsewhere if snow sports aren’t your thing.
Not so, my friend. I’m not a big fan of snow myself, but I do know how to appreciate a good time in Utah when I find one. I doubt he has ever spent a crazy weekend checking out Logan’s party scene. Sure, maybe “party scene” isn’t exactly an accurate term, but Taco Bell is open until 2 a.m. on the weekends and my frat-boy friend Adam sometimes tells me about all the crazy parties he goes to.
From this information, I have gathered that yes, there apparently are parties here that don’t involve a birthday cake, though that is not something I have experienced first hand. I also doubt that any of those parties include much snow or strenuous hiking, so someone should probably let that guy from the Web site know there are other options before he deters any more potential Spring Break partiers from enjoying the wonders of Utah.
Just a word of warning for those of you who happen to be staying here next week: I’d prepare for hordes of college students looking for a change from their typical beach party vacation. We’re definitely sitting in a secret Spring Break hot spot and I’m afraid the word might be getting out.
In considering all of this as I made my own plans, I figured Los Angeles would be an ideal place to go for the break to avoid the craziness that will most likely be unavoidable here. I’m just glad I’ll be able to sleep easy knowing that I won’t be surrounded by dangerous traffic to Beto’s at 4 a.m. and all those risqu snow angel-making contests.
So even if you are one of the two or three people on campus who aren’t stocking up on the fake tanning lotion for a tropicala Spring Break, still make sure to keep yourself under control when water and groups of people are involved. After all, you never know when that innocent wet coat contest you entered might end up on some late-night infomercial.
Lindsay Kite is a freshman majoring in print journalism. With questions, comments or to reserve your very own copy of “Aggies Gone Wild,” contact lindsaykite@cc.usu.edu.