Column: Double Vision
As just one of the many downfalls of this cruel hand we’ve been dealt – twinhood, we have previously mentioned the pervasive and frequent interrogations we are subjected to. What becomes more apparent every day, or rather 16-17 times per day, is that there is one pressing question that both young and old are desperately seeking an answer to.
This question is directed solely at twins, identical twins to be specific, and is second in frequency only to, “So, do you like being a twin?” Sadly, since we are so incredibly puzzled by the premise of this query, no one walks away satisfied with our truthful response.
Though it may be terribly disappointing to some, the answer is no. No, we have never switched on a date. Not while on double dates and making the switch mid-evening and not even while on single dates when one twin doesn’t want to go.
If memory serves me right, every person we’ve ever met has asked this pressing question with the full expectation of hearing a long, complicated tale of deceit, trickery and love. I don’t know if we missed out on some all-encompassing childhood story about twins secretly trading off on dates or what, but everyone assumes this is just part of being a twin.
To my knowledge, not even Mary-Kate and Ashley, Tia and Tamera or the Sweet Valley High twins ever attempted or pulled off such an inconceivable ploy.
Perhaps we are just not in on the twin dating norm, but we aren’t always getting asked out on dates by random guys that: 1) don’t already know us, 2) can’t tell us apart at least somewhat or 3) are too slow to notice when the wrong twin shows up to the door or sits next to them mid-date.
Of course, those sad possibilities aren’t inconceivable, but I’d really hate to assume they were true and be the twin who gets caught in the middle of a date with a guy who never asked me out in the first place.
But even if our dates did fit all of those qualifiers to make a switch possible, we’re still lost on what the motivations would be. How bad could a date be if you were willing to run to the bathroom, switch clothes, makeup and hairstyles and pretend to be another person with a different date for the rest of the night?
And what would be the benefit to either of us? Basic economics are making it clear that the costs are a little overwhelming and, therefore, the feat is not worth it – in any situation. After all, someone’s still going to end up with the lame date whether or not we switch during or before the whole fiasco begins.
We can think of no reason or motivation – monetarily or otherwise – that either of us would ever go on a date that the other desperately refused to go on. After all, wouldn’t it save all parties involved some good time, money, stress and potential humiliation if we just said no to start with?
I think we have our answer. We are truly sorry to respond once and for all that we have never switched on a date, nor do we plan to do so in the near future.
Lindsay and Lexie Kite are juniors majoring in print journalism. If you have any information regarding the wide-spread notion that all twins mess with their dates’ heads, please contact lindsaykite@cc.usu.edu.