Coming attractions: Spring 2002
All About the Benjamins (March 8) If you’re like me, and can detect sarcasm a mile away, then you know how excited I am for this flick. When I was finished viewing Next Friday, Ice Cube and Mike Epps’ last joint venture, I thought, boy, I can’t wait for another film of this caliber. Well, here it is. Cube is “the badest bounty hunter in town,” and Epps is the tag-along criminal. Both are seeking to recover stolen diamonds, and in reality, more serious acting work. But, hey, whatever pays the bills, right? The Panic Room (March 8) Jodie Foster’s (Anna and the King) latest gig surrounds her character’s purchase of a four-story brownstone apartment, and the accompanying “panic room” hidden inside. Recently divorced, Foster’s character locks herself and her daughter inside the panic room, hoping to find safety from the midnight intruders who have broken into her home. The trailer for this movie is a bit taught, but I’m betting this film heads south to Flopsville.
The Time Machine (March 8) Guy Pearce (Memento) and pop music artist Samantha Mumba star with Jeremy Irons (Reversal of Fortune) in this adaptation of H.G. Wells’ classic story. Boasting better special effects than George Pal’s 1960 version, the DreamWorks-produced picture should be the box-office champ until March 15 when Ice Age skates into theaters.
Ice Age (March 15) Early rumblings about this animated project from 20th Century Fox suggest it could be a Shrek-like success. With voice talent such as Ray Romano (Everybody Loves Raymond), Dennis Leary (The Job), and John Leguizamo (Moulin Rouge), the laughs will certainly be present. Here’s a tip: If you invest $6 into Ice Age and it reeks, at least you’ll get to see the premiere of the final trailer for Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
Resident Evil (March 15) Milla Jovovich (The Fifth Element) and Michelle Rodriguez (Girlfight) star in this cinematic adaptation of the popular video game. Both women are members of a command team sent to stop a deadly virus from spreading and ultimately destroying the entire world. Computers, flesh-eating zombies and overused plot, oh my.
Showtime (March 15) Eddie Murphy (The Nutty Professor) and Robert De Niro (Meet the Parents) are the stars of a reality-based television program hatched to heighten a police department’s image. De Niro is the straight, no-thrills cop, while Murphy is the wild rookie with a penchant for the extreme. With the success of Meet the Parents, this film’s genesis was a given. Hollywood loves to copy the format of other successful films, and odd parings seem to be the current happenstance in Tinsletown.
Blade II (March 22) When Roger Ebert enjoys a Wesley Snipes vampire movie, then you know it has to be good. However, my gut tells me this second installment of Snipes vs. the vampires won’t be nearly as original and gritty as the first trip. In fact, it already reeks of low creativity. In this outing, Blade teams up with the usually hated vampires to fight an even deadlier mélange of creatures. Now that’s original.
E.T. (March 22) Yes, you are reading correctly, the film that caused me to cry my eyes out and want a shiny new dirt bike is hitting theaters with expanded footage and digital reworking. Given the fact E.T. was originally released in 1982, there are probably some freshmen that have never had the chance to cry when the little brown alien returns home. See this, if only to help Mr. Spielberg rack up $200 million, thus knocking Titanic out of the No. 1 grossing movie top spot. Big Trouble (April 5) Dave Barry, the Pulitzer Prize winning humorist for The Miami Herald, wrote the novel from which this movie is based. It boasts an eclectic cast ranging from the friendly Tim Allen (Home Improvement), the multi-talented Stanley Tucci (Big Night), and the always-enjoyable Tom Sizemore (Saving Private Ryan). Those three actors are just the tip of the iceberg. While it won’t blow any box-office records away, this film should be funny.