The science of love
As Valentine’s Day approaches, most students turn their thoughts to romance.
But what is it that makes us act the way we do?
Renee V. Galliher, an assistant professor in the psychology department who studies relationships of couples between the ages of 14 and 20, said the developmental progress of relationships begins with groups of boys and girls.
“Everybody knows that so-and-so is going out with so-and-so, but they never really ‘go out,'” Galliher said.
These relationships simply teach people how to interact with the opposite sex, and Galliher said, “In the early years, some individuals can have a few partners. Some don’t, but with each relationship you learn.”
Eventually people usually progress from having short-term flings to long-term monogamous relationships, Galliher said.
Lust, marking the beginning of a relationship, is based on many factors, and men generally place more emphasis on physical appearance than women do, Galliher said.
Women often use other factors besides appearance. Most are instinctual, Galliher said. Descriptively, a woman will look for a man who is likely to protect her and support her offspring, increasing chances of reproduction.
“In assortive mating, we choose people who are like us in some way,” Galliher said.
“Many people really don’t understand this. They’re like, ‘Attraction is magic,'” Scott Ashment, a senior in political science and economics, said.
Love and attraction are stages in relationships that are frequently seen in films, Galliher said. If the couple falls in love at first sight, there is a level of attraction. Galliher referred to this as a “relationship script.”
But the negative relationship scripts also show more than just set unrealistic expectations. Galliher said, “Potentially, relationship scripts involve themes of submission to keep your partner happy. So I need to give up myself to keep the other person happy?”
Finally, the relationship moves into the phase known as attachment. Ashley Johnson, a psychology and law constitutional studies major, said after the initial attraction, people start on a high and move downhill until they bottom out.
“If the couple survives the bottoming out period,” Johnson said, “you move into an upward phase of affection, and this is even better than attraction.”
Galliher said, “So many things go into success or failure of a relationship.”
There is a lack of research in the actions that can ensure the relationship is prolonged, she said. But there is plenty of evidence as to some pitfalls that couples can avoid.
Recent studies have suggested that as long as the ratio of positive interactions out-number the negative interactions, Galliher said, then the couple still reports high levels of relationship satisfaction.
“Mostly, the biggest problem with relationships occurs when there is an imbalance of power,” Galliher said. “If one party consistently dominates another, then there is normally a high level of dissatisfaction.”
-skjohnson@cc.usu.edu