Column: Things you never learned; How to solve the possibly awkward Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is always a struggle. No matter who you are, you’re thinking about it, and the endless questions won’t stop until Wednesday.
Should I do something for her? What will she think? Will I scare her off? What if I’m not sure I like him? What is too much? Can I avoid this holiday? Is she expecting anything? What if I don’t do enough? How long would it take me to find and kill Cupid?
Whether you are engaged or gearing up for that first date, the same problems persist what to do for Valentine’s Day. After some thorough research through very dependable sources, I have come to the ultimate answers.
Most agree that Valentine’s Day is a holiday for the females. This one may be fairly obvious, but both guys and girls agree that Valentine’s Day is a holiday created by the consumers of America to give men an opportunity to show their woman how they really care. Unfortunately, most men are in desperate need for this holiday because they either don’t know how to tell their women how they feel on a regular basis, are too afraid to do it more than once a year or they feel incompetent by risking the chance of looking “sentimental” without a national holiday backing them up.
Women love this holiday because they know it is all about them. Don’t get me wrong, it is important for men to know they are loved and appreciated in any relationship, but women usually know how to do this on a regular basis. So when Feb. 14 rolls around, we get to sit back and observe, to which I provide absolutely no objection. Valentine’s Day doesn’t provide too much pressure for women, except on that rare occasion when a girl knows she’s not into that certain someone and she’s got until Feb. 13 to break it off with him and steal his broom before he tries to sweep her off her feet.
Therefore, in an effort to ease the stress on all parties, I have compiled a list of ideas on how to do Valentine’s Day right at some of the awkward stages of a relationship. (Assuming that if you’re in a serious relationship, you know the person well enough to know how to make her weak in the knees.)
For Men:
Scenario: You’re purely friends with a female. There has never been and never will be any romantic sparks flying, but you are a good friend and want to give her something.
What to do: A simple Sponge Bob or Super Hero valentines card and a box of conversation hearts will do, any more and she might think you want something more, any less and she might think you forgot.
Scenario: You’re interested in her, you’ve had maybe one or two dates,, you’re still not sure where the relationship will go, but if you had your way, you wouldn’t mind moving on to the next level.
What to do: This one can be rough since you don’t want to scare her off, but it’s the perfect time to show her you care. The best solution would be a dinner date, with perhaps a single rose. A dozen roses might make her think you’re more committed than she’s ready for, but a single rose shows her you’re as sweet as she was hoping you were. It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner or anything really expensive, just be sure you know you’ve got a plan for the evening and you’re on time and she’ll be set.
Scenario: You’ve just started dating exclusively and it’s your first Valentine’s together.
What to do: This situation is golden for guys. If you’re already dating exclusively, you don’t have to worry about scaring her off. It’s your turn to show her what you’re made of. She’s expecting it and you’re ready to deliver. Roses at work, reservations for afterwards. You don’t have to get really sentimental because you probably don’t have a really extensive history to relish in, but if you want to start things off right, here’s your chance.
For Women:
Scenario One: You really want him to do something for Valentine’s, but you’re not sure he will. You want him to know you’re interested enough to take the “Valentine’s step,” but you don’t want to come off as eager – you just want to give him a little reminder.
What to do: Perhaps you might mention something cute you saw at the store that day, or what your roommates might be doing for Valentine’s Day. Don’t make the situation awkward by saying something like, “Brandon already has reservations for Hamilton’s and a limo, Emily is so lucky…” That will do nothing but make your man feel like he doesn’t have a chance. Make it a part of conversation, but don’t push the issue. If he wants to do something, he will, and he’s probably already thought about it.
Scenario Two: You’re not exclusive with anyone, but may have two possible men waiting for dates for the big day and you can’t decide. You like both, but you know that if you turn one of them down, you won’t be seeing much of him anymore.
What do to: This is one of the hardest situations to be in for Valentine’s Day, but you’ve got two choices. The first one is obvious: you’ve got to choose. However, this is an important decision because the one you let down probably won’t bother asking you out again, and the other one gets the message that you are interested in something more. I would advise against this solution unless you are positively sure. The second option is much easier. Choose neither. Make it a night out with the single girls. However, by doing this, most guys will assume you’re making an excuse and you might lose both. Instead, go with the person who asked you first and tell the other one you already have plans but tell him you’d really like to go out with him and YOU set the next date for the weekend.
Scenario Three: You know he’s going to do something, you’ve got butterflies in your stomach, you are head-over-heels excited, but you don’t know what to do for him.
What to do: Most guys I’ve talked to say this one is easy because they aren’t expecting anything, so they are happy with anything. If you’ve been dating for a while, something sentimental, a picture frame with the both of you inside, a sweet letter. If it’s a new relationship, stick to the basics: food, food and more food. A plate of homemade cookies, a basket of chocolate goodness, just as long as you don’t burn it, he’ll love you for it.
This holiday is a time for the men to shine in the light women wished they had all the time, but we’ll settle for once a year.
Emma Tippetts is a junior majoring in law and constitutional studies and print journalism. Comments, questions can be sent to Etippetts@cc.usu.edu.